Lately I've felt like a contestant on a reality show. There are the exotic locations, the group of young strangers thrown into an intense situation, and, of course, the unexpected twists and turns that make the participants cringe while the producers sit smugly in their office pouring over the ratings. It's got all the makings of good reality television, but the catch for me is that this is reality. No cash prize, no chance for finding love, no guaranteed talk show appearances after I get kicked off the island, just day to day living. Reality.
This kind of reality is the ultimate exercise in delayed gratification. I know that someday I'm going to love to tell stories about this world tour to people, but living it out? Right now I'd rather not. I can't remember the last time so many things,well, everything was out of my control. And it's uncomfortable. It's exhausting. I want to revisit my contract and have a "come to Jesus" meeting with my agent, but, guess what? This isn't tv and I can't fire my management because this is my real life.
I thought I signed up for a trip that would allow me to share hope and compassion with the poor and destitute around the world and maybe teach me a thing or two along the way. What I didn't count on was the fact that people are people no matter where you are on the map. There's drama and there are egos and there's no way you can predict what's going to come out of somebody's mouth. I guess that's all the stuff that makes reality tv so popular, right? But I just want to quietly help people and leave all the other junk behind. Where can you sign up for that kind of reality?
The season is almost halfway through, so they're likely going to introduce some new characters, kill or kick some people off, and I imagine you'll see something new and interesting develop in the character arc. Hopefully in MY character arc because I can't imagine going through all this proverbial "abandonment and brokenness" without gaining some valuable insight and wisdom. Since this is my real life, I get to choose whether I learn the lessons and apply the wisdom, it's just hard to say "yes" to things when you can't see the big picture or haven't read the whole script.
I hope you'll keep tuning in. I'm certainly eager to see how this thing ends!
