Over the past year, I have been sharing pieces of my story with you, whether they are easy and fun to share or not. And I have always said that I am going to be transparent with you on this blog. So here we go…
One of the hardest battles of my life has been with depression and self harm. This struggle really started sometime in 7th grade when I really felt alone, abandoned, hopeless, and unloved. At this same point in time I really lost my faith and hope in God. I fell into a cycle of self harm and struggling with depression.
In a little over a year from the start of this struggle, I found Christ and accepted Him as my savior. I came to realize how deeply loved I am by the creator of the universe. As this realization came through my self harm habits faded away.
Now lets jump up a few years, I am a sophmore in college and receive some news that shatters my heart, reality, and changed my life. I really stopped worrying about taking care of myself, and fell back into the darkness of depression that had previously controlled my life. I vividly remember sitting on my bathroom floor in my apartment and hearing an almost audible voice say, “I have more in my plans for you than this. This is not your end.” I knew that this was God speaking life into me. I picked myself up and that is the night that I started the road to recovery. I got help, and today, October 1, 2016, I am 2 years completely clean from self-harm.
I have come to the realization that God is greater than any challenges or pain that I can go through. He sent His son to die on the cross for me, and no matter how bad a mess up He’ll always love me and greet me with open arms. I came to realize I greatly He loved me; I also came to realize that I shouldn’t be ashamed of my struggles, so that is why I don’t attempt to cover my scars (even though they are rather faded now). Any time that people notice my scars and know what they are from it’s an awesome way to tell people my story and how great God is!
Especially over the past year, I have realized that God’s plan for me is greater than the one that I could ever plan for myself. I start launch for the World Race tomorrow, and will be on a plane to Costa Rica on Wednesday. My blog will stay the most updated with what I am doing so subscribe if you would like to keep up with my blogs!
