Today, the title of this post sums it all up: I am intimidated.
I am intimidated by the ‘real world’
I am intimidated by the World Race/ being gone 11 months
I am intimidated physically by what all I need to change
I am intimidated by finances. Having to raise $16,243 is…not a simple task.
Thankfully, I have an awesome squad that understands this feeling, an awesome and supportive family, and fabulous friends, all of whom I am thankful to share this adventure with.
From the beginning I have repeatedly told people that I chose to follow my calling to the world race because it challenged and called me to change. It has and will make me to grow in ways I had not yet grown, and this is only the beginning. Nevertheless, I am slowly learning that when I get overwhelmed or intimidated I want to hide and ignore the issue. (I call this “turtling”…you know, for future reference.)
This probably isn’t good.
Today, I am reminding myself that things aren’t always going to be easy, I am not always going to feel fit or like the right choice for the task at hand, and I am not always going to understand how things will work out in the end.
Good. I don’t think I’m meant to.
When I feel intimidated, I’m faced with an opportunity to come face to face with faith. I’m given a front row seat to watch God flex his muscles, and I am given an invitation to sit down, shut up, and to stop analyzing everything.
I do this a lot.
There are reasons I’m not ruler of the world here, people.
The more I consume myself with the ‘what if’, or with my inadequacies, the less I remember what I have been called to do. I discredit all the ways God will make me capable, all completely through His strength and His goodness.
Many days, I feel like David in the David & Goliath scenario. Well, David minus the sling shot action. I’m not sure God would necessarily trust me with a sling shot, if we are being honest. I feel like the mountain never stops growing, road blocks continually show up, and like little doubts saturate my thinking.
This can’t go on.
Like it tells us in Romans 8:17, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”
In the words of my favorite author, Donald Miller,
“Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.”
Just like that, Intimidation is a tool of the devil to keep us from doing great things for God.
I may not see a way around my intimidation right now, but I can tell you one thing for certain: I am not a coward.
I choose to be brave, and I choose to believe that God will honor what he has called me to do.
I have been promised that God will never leave me or forsake me, so I will own that truth.
Deuteronomy 31:6-
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Making this my anthem today, because I am a force to be reckoned with and intimidation won’t define me.
Not today.
