I love people.
This may not come as a surprise to any of you, but I feel like this is an accurate description of myself. I say it enough, at least.
I love being in people’s lives, I love being part of things, and I love being connected.
For all these things, social media is a beautiful thing; it is also a beautiful monster.
Social Media lets me share what is going on in my life, see whats happening in others’; it lets me see weddings, engagements, heartbreaks, deaths, hopes, fears, and so much more. Sometimes, I even find out a great slew of things I don’t really want to know. This could range from how you’ve been dumped 86 times in the last month, 7 million vines, or to better yet the things that I am not a part of.
Apparently, I am not the central part of everyone else’s world.
Who knew.
While I am in full favor of social media, I’m learning slowly that maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t be connected all the time. Especially on the days where things aren’t going my way and 37 of my friends have just gotten engaged, married, or reproduced these adorable little mini humans that I just want to hug and love. On days like those, I’m like the Grinch on the top of Mount Crumpit scrolling through my newsfeed. “Cindy Lou Who, I hate you. And Harvey May Who, I hate YOU! And I hate you, and I never liked, you and YOU AND YOU AND YOU!” Except I don’t actually use the word hate ever. I should probably say envy. Because that’s exactly what I’m doing.
I forget far too often that the social media representation of other’s lives is usually the cream of the crop; they are presenting their best pictures, their happiest most exciting moments, and the funniest inside jokes. Generally speaking, if others do share issues, its the sunshine version and not the way things actually are.
Its no secret that social media has changed the way we communicate. In part because it is quick & easier to hide behind a screen, and partially because we feel like we need to live up to some form of expectation that we are living a life worth living or envying. Perhaps this isn’t intentional, and it isn’t always the case, but why else do we post artsy pictures of our shoes and Starbucks?
We want the world to know we are alive. We want people to remember that we are here.
This morning, I decided to delete all of my social media apps off of my phone with the exception of Instagram. (Instagram stays because I follow a bunch of really cool Christ-centered photographers that just want to tell people’s stories and I dig that. Plus, that doesn’t really lead me to envy, which is why I deleted the rest.)
I want to be connected, but I also want to do it in a healthy way. Honestly? I think I’ve gotten a little too comfortable with being able to share my every thought, all the time, if I so choose. I have started unintentionally envying things I’m not a part of, and I’ve decided that I’m tired of living in a jealous world. I don’t want to see screen shots of group messages I’m not a part of. I don’t want to be reminded that I’m not invited to this outing. I don’t want to feel forgotten.
Why? Because I am remembered, I am included, I am invited out, and I am sent messages. I say this because comparison is the thief of joy, and I want to appreciate what I have. I deleted the apps off my phone so I could be present and not just “checked in” on Facebook.
I am living a life worth living.
Some may argue that deleting my instant connection to social media is kind of like an ostrich sticking it’s head it the sand & that life will continue on around me, I’m just choosing to ignore it. Good. I want it to carry on around me. I’m deleting the apps off my phone to be reminded that this is not the Jennie show, and that life isn’t all about me and what I am or am not a part of. Especially, getting ready for the race.
I’m working on understanding that when I leave, life is going to carry on without me. You can’t ask everyone to freeze until you return*. (*But you can ask your parents not to find new spouses/remarry and for your sister & brother in law to not reproduce while you are gone. I think those are reasonable requests. I’M LOOKING AT YOU, MCMULLIN/SABOL CLAN.)
I can’t be a part of everything, all the time.
I’m excited for the race because I’m looking forward to a world where I can’t just scroll through Facebook when I’m bored. I’m excited to really learn how to be present again, and to celebrate the awesome things happening in life.
So, for now. I’m disconnected and unplugged unless I have my computer handy, which is kind of the way I like it. I choose to be happy and connected in a healthy way.
Tweet/Snap Chat/Facebook on, my friends. I’ll rejoin you one day. Just not for a while.
