The first few days of my race have already been some of the hardest of my life. Saying goodbye to friends and family, moving into a house with 17 people with one bathroom and shower, being told when you can eat or where to eat, taking 30 mins to decide anything.
I’ve lost control of my life. My life is not my own. My life is in community with 16 other people.
I didnt realize how good at being alone I was. For the past couple of months before the race I had lived alone with people. I’ve made my own decisions for years now. Surrendering that has not been easy. I have felt so anxious not knowing how this is all going to work out.
God called me to the World Race and all Ive been doing is wondering how long I’m going to last. I keep trying to think to the future. Will my other hosts be this great? Will I like the ministry I’m doing?
The best part about the World Race so far has been my community. My team and Team Agape have been holding me while I have cried, speaking words of encouragement, and listening while I’m trying to figure out this whole change in life.
The biggest thing I’m learning is that God has given me this community. God has placed me here for a reason with each of these people. However, my community is not suppose to replace him. So all those times I’ve cried with my teammates I should be taking those tears to God.
I’ve realized that I havent been trusting God with my whole heart and thats what it takes on the World Race because this isn’t easy. Realizing your life is about to change is a little overwhelming.
At Launch Bill Swan told us some key things to be successful on the race: desire to grow and change; presence of god; positive attitude; and healthy community. I’m working on all of these.
I’ve been hearing different squadmates tell their stories and it has given me such hope. I have realized I’m a baby in this realtionship with God. I’ve always believed in God but havent fully trusted or believed him.
My prayer warrior, Chelle, prayed peace over me and asked me to spend some time talking to God. I felt a little more peace. The knots in my stomach were subsiding. I laid on my bed the other night and just said “Help God. I want to know you. Please Please show me who you are and please hold my hand through this.”
Our host, Luis, came and told us all about Guatemala. He is hilarious. He is excited we are here and about God working through all of us. He also said he had fun activities for us on our days off like hiking the volcano and going to a beach.
I went to sleep last night with a calm spirit. I am thanking my interceders and God. Praise the Lord My God. You are My Comforter.
Blessings From Antigua,
Jennie
