When Life throws a Curve Ball

Last week was not what I expected. It’s not what I had planned and been waiting an exciting 7 months (actually my whole life) for – yet exactly what God knew was going to happen.

A curve ball was once again tossed my direction, and with much prayer, encouragement, love and support I, along with Felix, had to make one of the hardest decisions – one one we were PRAYING we would not have to make.

As most of you know by now, I was to marry my best friend a week ago – October 10. Our plans were put on hold due to things out of our control, so once again, I sit and I wait. He still does not have his visa, nor do we have the answers as to when he will get it or even arrive in Canada, or when our wedding will in fact take place.

I wish I could say that things are easy and will be and that I know what is coming – but in fact, I am walking more in the unknown NOW than I was last week! IT’S HARD. Hard to keep the faith. Hard to stay in touch with someone who is on the other side of the world. Hard to hope for the best when all I can see is what is right here and right now. Hard to deal with the things facing me that I need to deal with in order to better myself, better my relationship with others, and better my relationship with God – things that cause me to dig deep and be honest and real and vulnerable. Hard to be by myself – yet blessed to know HE is with me wherever I go and whatever I do. I do not have the strength to get through this on my own, but thanks be to God for being my strength and giving me the energy for each day!

Although it doesn’t make sense, I am at peace. I do not understand why Felix has yet to receive his visa. I know more people have been praying than I even know or realize and that it still has not ended. We do not know or understand HIS ways, but I know my God and I know that there’s a reason (or reason’s) beyond what I can see.

Through all the “disappointments” have come more blessings than I could have imagined. Everything from love and prayers to no rental extra costs for ANYTHING wedding (despite cancellations) to having my girls still come for the weekend even though they knew there was no wedding. To have Mel and Mel be a part of my life is a blessing enough – but to have them give up more time to come spend time with me was appreciated beyond words. God used them to speak life into me, to be shoulders to cry on, arms to wrap around me with hugs, and so much more (THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL WOMEN…Can’t wait for the REAL event).

This has been more than just my past week. It’s been the last few months – waiting and more waiting…and just when we think we are done, more waiting is around the corner.

I don’t share this to get sympathy. I don’t share this so you feel like you have to pray (if you feel led to, thank you). I share this as a testimony – because I know that I know that I know that God has HIS reasons. I know that HIS name is being glorified. I know that my faith is being tested – along with many others. I know that I would not have been able to learn and grow the way I have been if I were to have been married last Sunday. I still cannot wait to have Felix here with me in Canada, meeting my family and friends and finally having this dream become a reality.

I want to leave you with a challenge that God gave me a few months ago and then again from my pastor at my church bridal shower (who had no idea that God had spoken it to me before).