Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.
Let him sit alone in silence, for the LORD has laid it on him.
Let him bury his face in the dust- there may yet be hope.
Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace.
For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.
For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.
It’s been a week since we left Bangkok for Africa. We flew into Nairobi, Kenya before flying to J’burg, South Africa…leaving Asia, we had no idea HOW we’d be getting to Mozambique, or even picked up from the airport, but we knew God knew and that’s all we needed to know…
Here I sit, still in South Africa, waiting, unsure of when we will be leaving to go into Mozambique. We stayed at a hostel in J’burg for two nights (which was an unexpected blessing) before traveling by bus to Nelspruit where we have remained the last few days…it has been a time of prayer, relaxation, restoration and renewal. We have hot water and can flush toilet paper, but can’t go anywhere alone…and if we go anywhere, we need a male “escort” and at least 3 other people! Camera’s, Ipod’s and computers are to be “hidden at all times,” except in the Betor house, where we are staying! Safety is a concern, yet we know that God is our protector and have nothing to fear!
Through the waiting, God has been revealing himself to me – to us all – in various ways. At times, I am ready to leave and begin ministry in Mozambique, but I know THIS is where God has called me, this Squad, to be. It is a time to minister to each other. To soak in the presence of God. Yesterday, we spent majority of the day in silence, asking the Lord what He wants of us, fasting and praying for other Squad mates, and listening to the voice of God. What a privilege to have time to spend with him willingly and not have to just make time…so blessed!
This is the in between. Not where we were and not where we are going to be. We are also no longer who we were or who we are going to be. This is the second half of our journey. This is the beginning of the end, and the end of the old. This is between two worlds…yet I do not feel lost. I am waiting. I am growing. I am in awe. The following song explains my heart…I am done saying I am surrendering when I have yet to completely surrender. God now has my control, my life, my heart…I am His! Somewhere in the middle, I found Him again! I needed to be at the “in between” in order to become who He wants me to be!
by Casting Crowns
Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle
Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere in the middle you’ll find me
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle
We will get to our final destination, eventually. On God’s timing, not our own. It’s a new experience and adventure…yet one I am extremely blessed to be apart of. In the meantime, we are loving, laughing and living in the moment as the body of Christ!
