I sit wide awake. It’s after 3am. I am praying. I am wondering…
…wondering what I can do to make a difference when I can’t communicate more than a few simple sentences and have very broken English responses in return.
They are beautiful. They are young. They are naive. Some are shy. Some are new to the scene. Others have been involved for years. Some love it. Most dislike what they do. This is only night TWO for me to meet these women – the prostitutes of Bangla road, Patong Beach, Thailand!
Tonight was hard. I wanted to cry, yet couldn’t. Walking away from one young woman who had fear plastered on her face. Who held my hand as I walked away, wondering why I had to leave. The bar owner was not happy. We were taking up HER girls time and not bringing in any money. We were the “wrong” kind of customers. One drink for three people – a soda, the cheapest thing on the bar list – doesn’t cut it. We were taking up space and more importantly, befriending the girls who works for her.
She’s only been there a short time – three days. She is so small and precious and young. She’s naive and is working at the bar to bring in money for her family. She’s trying to hide the fact that she dislikes her job, but it didn’t fool me or the two other girls I was with – Renee and Kim. We practically got pushed into the chairs as we were walking past the bar and immediately started playing the “bar games” with a few of the girls – connect four, jackpot or jenga!
As we talked, I saw the fear in her eyes and the sadness in her heart. She was crying out for help…and I just sit there, unable to do anything. I want to take her with me as I walk away from the bar, but am unable to. I invite her to lunch at SHE, but she has to deny. She’s not aloud to leave…she wants to. At least, that’s what every emotion is shouting from her. She tells me that unless I “buy” her for the night (or hour/day/week) she can’t leave.” My heart went from leaping for joy because God was FINALLY making progress on sharing about hope and a new life outside of the bars, to utter disappointment and heartache.
Walking away KNOWING what is coming once you go around the corner is hard. Promising to go back and see a “new friend” is a start, but to know that night after night this young woman has to deal with lost men and customers that don’t care about her, is hard. Why, Lord! What can I do?
I can pray, but it seems so little…can prayer really take a girl that so desperately wants to leave OUT of a bar when it usually requires money? How I would love for her to be able to just for ONE HOUR be able to come and experience and talk with the Thai women and Directors here at SHE and see what this ministry has to offer. Lord – show me what to do and how to go about it…
There is hope in the midst of the darkness. Meeting girls who know girls from the Squad. Inviting girls to llunch and having them accept. Praying for the MEN that are from abroad, searching for who knows what. Watching women entertain these men because it’s a living, to provide for their family!
It’s hard to watch, yet a peace surrounds me knowing that God is in control. He knows there EVERY NAME!
Lord, I give you my sister’s! They are your children. They aren’t any less than I! Open my eyes to see them as you see them. Open their heart to see You when they look at us!
