For some odd reason, I am speechless! I want to write a blog. I have enough stories from this past week of ministry to write a novel, yet don’t know where to start. God has been moving and changing hearts and lives – not only the girls in the bars of Bangla road, but my heart! I have been through numerous emotions…some I can’t even begin to describe. It has been a battle this week to press in and keep on keeping on!
This month has been exhausting physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually! I wouldn’t trade it for anything. This is where I am called to be. I have come to life. I am seeing my passions come to life – some that I knew I had, and others that have just been developed. Who would have thought I would be living in Thailand cooking, baking, praying, bar hoping, building relationships, taking pictures, eating amazing food and loving like I have never loved before – and realizing that what I did back home was just a stepping stone to where I am now! My “life skills” put to use!
I have never prayed so hard or so much in such a short time-span as I have this month. I’m learning how to use my intercessory gift the Lord has given me. I am being open and honest with my team and sharing hurts and frustrations. I am pouring out all I have, and when there is nothing left in me, God gives me just what I need to make it through the remainder of night!
I have been blessed by many conversations, relationships and quiet times. I have felt, laughed, loved, cried and prayed more than I ever could have thought possible. I have experienced things I never would have expected.
It takes a single look from one of the women at the house for me to change my emotions – either to laugh with them, be a shoulder to cry on or just give a hug. 
Last night, I found myself at the night market, holding hands with a dear friend, Ae, whom just came to SHE last month. She has become a sister to me and is so special. Upon returning home, I found my little sister, Pao, and we went and layed on roof, looking at the stars singing and praising God. I was laughing and singing and trying to keep my balance – but the love that was there was not only between two friends, but God pouring out on us!
Last night, I found myself at the night market, holding hands with a dear friend, Ae, whom just came to SHE last month. She has become a sister to me and is so special. Upon returning home, I found my little sister, Pao, and we went and layed on roof, looking at the stars singing and praising God. I was laughing and singing and trying to keep my balance – but the love that was there was not only between two friends, but God pouring out on us!
This morning I did morning devotions for the women at SHE. I had no idea what I was going to share, but I knew I needed to be the one to share. God put a song in my heart, and it went from there.
Psalm 139 – a familiar passage to us all, yet so much love and truth in it all no matter how often we read it! Before I prayed for the day, I ended up singing a song I’ve grown up holding dear to my heart. It was a hidden track on a Rebecca St. James album that is now more than hidden! This is another passion of mine that has come to life, singing. Within the last month, my team has realized this “gift” and encourages me to sing. I have before, just not “loud, confidently and boldly,” especially in front of people! Well…here i was this morning, with my entire team in front of me and about 15 women I have grown to love, belting my heart out to words that speak to my soul!
You search me, You know me, You see my every move
There’s nothing I could ever do, To hide myself from You
You know my thoughts, My fears and hurts, My weaknesses and pride
You know what I am going through, And how I feel inside
But even though You know, You will always love me
Even though You know, You’ll never let me go
I don’t deserve Your love, But you give it freely
You will always love me, Even though You know
I love sharing my heart and being with these women. They inspire me. I love serving God and being a blessing to those around me. I am alive! In more ways than I could have imagined to be…I am laughing and dancing and singing with no care in the world as to what others think or say! This is me…plain and simple! Fully Alive!
Loving. Living. Experiencing.
God is Faithful.
