A New Me!

Expect the unexpected. How true! How real! God, I never imagined to be in this place, doing what I’ve been doing and experiencing what I’ve been feeling! I’m blessed. I’m relaxed. I’m refreshed. This is just the beginning!

Training Camp was “suppose to be” this intense late night, early morning, no break, physically challenging and ground breaking. What it has been is a breath of fresh air. A time to reflect on the past and move on. Grab hold to the here and now. The truths that God has filled my life with, not the lies Satan’s been trying to blind me of.

I’m still trying to figure out so much. I gave up my will this week. My heart’s been aching for a long time – full of hurt, bitterness, loss, and so much more. I cannot continue on this journey if I stay full of these things and try and make it on my own. Holding on to my will, my ways, means I’m not letting God have control over my life. I want to be in His will. I want to do His will. My desires to do what I have no control over. Sitting at a creek for over 2 hours to embrace God’s love, and grieve our losses – the good and the bad – was amazing. Carrying a log (my burdens) on a 4 mile hike was a challenge. Why hold onto something that holds us back from being the person God intended us to be!? 

I am changed. I am not the same person as I was when I entered training camp. I’ll be a different person when I go into the race. I’ll be a new person when I get home from the race. I don’t expect those around me to understand what I’ve been through or am going through. All I know is that I’m being transformed. Renewed.

I have handed over my past. I am giving up my future. I am here. This is where God wants me. He’s going to use me – I’m not sure how, I’m not sure where – but I know He has bigger dreams for me than I can fathom. I never expected to still be single and feel so far from marriage, but I am and thats okay! I want to get married. It’s a burning desired in my heart – but I know that by giving up my life, my will and my desires over to God, He will bless me in His timing – in all areas of my life. I need to just be able to embrace this time with God and love on Him.