I am currently sitting at my gate in the Atlanta airport. I have been back in the States for a week spending time in Gainseville, Georgia debriefing and gaining insight into what reentry and the transition from squad leading looks like. It has been overwhelming being back in the swing of American culture but now the day has come where I go back to Colorado, where home is. I have never had so many question marks in my head.
What does home mean?
Im different, what is it going to be like?
What am I going to do when I get a there?
Who will I hang out with?
Whats next? Long term. Is that even near me? Or is it going to be another short term thing?
How long will I be home?
Some know, I completed my Race at the end of Novemeber. So I was indeed home for the month of December. However, I was only preparing to leave again, and before I knew it it was time to pack right back up to return on the field. This time leading a new squad as an alumni.
Because the turn around was so quick I really haven’t gone through the process of reentry yet. Bringing me to process the last 17 incredible, most life changing, best yet months of my life.
So how do I do this “reentry” thing well?
I have had the privilege of getting to talk with some Alumni racers and hear about their experience reentering after their race. Some of them were squad mates from my original squad. They have been back for 6 months now. Some were alumni who completed their race up to 4-5 years ago.
I learned that it could go really good, or really bad. Either way, everyone faced new challenges. But the key is that everyone deals with them differently. There are endless blogs from previous racers sharing their experience returning home.
I don’t know how I am going to do this process. A funny but great word from one of my squad mates/ friends. Is, “Grace! Grace for yourself, Grace for your family, Grace for your friends, Grace for your body, Grace for your hair, your face, your toes, and your nails.”
What lies next is so unknown. At moments it’s scary to think about.
I have been on the move for quite some time and to return home, not knowing what my next move is, is POSSIBLY one of the scariest but most exhilarating thoughts I’ve had the past year and a half.
The Lord trusts me. He trusts in what I will choose to do, and he’s cheering me on every step of the way.
“The light is green until He turns it red.”
“Knowing the Lord trust you should be liberating not restraining.”
“I’m his friend, not his slave. (John 15:15)” -Eric Johnson (Bethel Church)
This next season the biggest question mark is What’s next?? Not sure. Except that I truly have so many opportunities at my fingertips and the Lord is on the edge of His seat, excited, to see what I choose! I feel I’m almost as excited as He is.
