This piece came to me shortly after my last entry.
Recently my focus has been on God’s wrath on his people. Or what many of us call, “tough love.”
I have had to work on sitting down and going to the places unreached in my relationship with Him. The parts of Him I have avoided discovering.
I did a study on Exodus a couple years ago and remember thinking, “wow, this is nothing like the story I heard presented with a felt board in Sunday school.”
I studied the book again this month and noticed Moses didn’t want to do what God was calling Him to. He didn’t have confidence in Himself. When I first started studying this story for myself, the rawness Moses had in his relationship with the Lord stood out to me most. This time I looked more at God’s character and how He handled Moses’s doubt.
God’s love, trust, patience, and anger show up all within a few verses.
If you read Exodus 4 (reading from the NIV) you will see that God is giving Moses specific instructions of how to start freeing the Israelites. Moses tells the Lord He is not a good speaker. God then puts him in his place by saying “Who gave human beings their mouths?” It goes on and you see His patience and kindness with Moses saying He will help him speak and teach him what to say.
Moses denies again and this is when the Lords anger shows. “Then the Lords anger burned against Him.” -vs. 14
It burned!!
God then tells Moses to get Aaron to do it for him. If you skip ahead to 4:24 the Lord was going to kill Moses! WOAH!!
Moses didn’t want to do this one thing and it’s over just like that?
This made me question God. “Are you really a god that just kills your people? Do you really get this angry at us?”
The same day I was asking Him these questions I was led to
Proverbs 3:11-12,
“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”
“What does discipline from you look like? Where have you disciplined me in my life?” These were my questions that came after reading this.
A few days went by as I wrestled with this. I had to really fight to keep pressing in. I felt as though I didn’t know my Father at all, I felt distant from Him and started to be afraid of Him. Which is a lot different from fearing him.
I was then led to Romans 11, the whole chapter, but specifically vs. 11-24. It is talking about being grafted into this tree. I believe the tree is salvation and represents the Kingdom, those belonging to Christ. I suggest you read this passage for yourself. It has a lot of depth and shows many connections to the story of the Israelites found in Exodus.
Verses 19-21 really woke me up!
“You will say then, ‘Branches were broken off so that I could be grafted in.’ Granted. But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but tremble. For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either.”
The fear of the Lord is non-existent in our society. We just read that He was going to kill Moses for doubting that he could do the assignment! He turns people into pillars of salt for turning back when they were told not to.
Why do we think we are so free from His wrath today? For “he will not spare you either.” Where is the urgency to be obedient?!
Now I’m not saying that He will strike you down where you stand if you disobey him. But He does make it clear that you will surely die if you don’t. A life not lived in Him leads to death!
This is something I am continuing to dive into and unveil. I am still seeking to understand the wrath he brings on the people he loves.
However, one thing I know for sure. The truth that I stand on to keep me searching and stay in nearness to Him, is that He loves us beyond what we can understand.
See the reason that I see him punishing or disciplining his people as such a ‘bad’ thing, is because I don’t understand how much He actually loves me. I don’t 100% believe that Jesus Christ is wild and CRAZY about me! I know He loves me. But His love for me is so great, that I am literally incapable of grasping his love for me.
As a society we have lost the fear of God because we don’t take time to hear Him tell us how much He loves us.
John 15:10 – This is Jesus talking.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.”
AS THE FATHER LOVED JESUS!! HIS OWN SON!
In Ephesians 3 you will find Paul praying that the Ephesians be strengthened by the power of the holy spirit SO THAT they can grasp how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ is, because it surpasses knowledge.
We cannot comprehend His love on our own! With the help of His spirit we can begin to only grasp it.
For by Faith I have been saved.
It is scary to discover new things about the character of God, but it is also the most healing experience as I go deeper and deeper into His love for me. For all His ways are good, so even if I don’t understand them, I have faith that they are because of His WILD and CRAZY LOVE for me.
