Hosea 3:1-2
"Then the LORD said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover
and is committing adultery, just like the love of the LORD for the children of Israel,
who look to other gods….So I bought her for myself for 15
shekels of silver, and one and one-half homers of barley."
This morning I woke up with swollen eyes, a headache, feeling like I was run over by a train, and hoping that last night was just a nightmare. But I also woke up with a deeper realization at the cost Jesus paid for us and continually asks us to accept.
Last night was one of the hardest on the race. It began with a battle to even get out the doors to go to the bars and ended with sobbing on the bathroom floor, being broken for someone, and then singing praises to my sovereign heavenly Daddy.
God told me He was going to do something huge last night at the bars. I knew it was true because I almost didn’t have a partner to go out with me. As I sat at Jesus’ feet preparing to go out, I grabbed hold of the chair next to me and felt Him saying that I was going to have to lean on Him because I’m completely helpless without Him, tears came before the night even began.
My friend, Carly, and I went to my favorite bar owned by a person that accepts both genders or neither, I still haven’t figured it out. He has a man’s name, Luke*, yet he dresses and has beautiful features like a woman. I’ve been drawn to him because he doesn’t want to be my friend but I know he needs Jesus. Last night he has never been so cold to me before and with a sense of evil about him. Almost like he knew what my friend Carly and I were going to do that night before we did it….
This night was weird in the bar. The women weren’t as friendly as they normally are and there was something different about it. Long story short…Carly and I ended up offering to pay all the money we had for our friend, Laila*, to go home for the night so that she didn’t have to go with the drunk man who had already paid for her to be with him.
As the man went to the bathroom to throw up, Laila* came over to us bad mouthing the man and clinging to us making it clear she didn’t want to be with him…Heartbreaking…We made the offer to pay for her to go home and she laughed, she laughed and said she would be fine but at the same time she was conflicted. She was pacing, walking off to smoke and look off into the night, sad eyes and serious expression, then walking back to the drunk man and flirting with him acting like she enjoyed it.
We made one last offer to our friend and said bye because we couldn’t handle it. On the walk home tears began to come and then sobbing on the bathroom floor when I reached the house. As I walked home the consuming thought in my mind was satan laughing and saying hehad won. He had stolen my friend Laila* and he had won.
My focus this month is to take back what the enemy has stolen and it felt like a failure.
What is this life that these women live?!
To put on happy faces as they flirt with men they aren’t attracted to so that they will feel fulfillment and put money in their hands. The reality of this life hit me like a train.
For me, It’s often easy to say that God has overcome the world and wins the war. This belief was put to the test tonight. I doubted His sovereignty, His goodness, and His power.
After sitting and praying with teammates and rebuking the lies of the enemy, God brought peace. The pain for my friend has yet to stop but reassurance from my God came quickly.
We did exactly what we were supposed to that night. We were able to be Jesus in human form to this beautiful Thai woman.
I’ve often heard many examples of redemption but the gravity of what happened this night deepened my realization of redemption….
We offered to pay all we had for this woman as she laughs our offer off yet is still torn. She is still clearly unhappy yet puts on a smile to please the world. I found myself doing that at many points in my life. Not accepting the offer Jesus had waiting for me. Unreal to experience it in real life and not even to the fullest extent that Christ experiences.
My prayer is that this bar was turned upside down this night. The darkness in the bar hated us being there and I could feel it. Darkness hates the light but the lightpenetrates the darkness when God’s people walk in obedience and pray passionately. I pray for Luke* and Laila*, for the bar and other woman, as well as for the drunk man.
I will be back in that bar…we have a week left but God is not done in that bar yet. The battle is just now heating up. Redemption is possible for even the coldest heart there.
My God’s furious love is better and stronger than anything the enemy has captive.
I will be resilient and perservere because of the strength of Christ in me.
(*I substituted the names so if you would like to know their real names so that you can join me in believing the power of prayer and interceding for these people then please message me.)
Cheers to Him who sits on the throne, to Him who reigns forever and on high,
Jen
Hosea 2:19-20
"I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me
In righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy;
I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, And you shall know the LORD."
