Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
I hope all of you are eating delicious foods and spending wonderful, quality time with your families. Although I can’t be home with my family, the Lord has given me incredible people to spend this thanksgiving with. Our Chilean grandmother taught us how to make french fries, and I’m also living with some master chefs…the Lord is good!
This morning, I was offering up prayers of thanks to the Father for all He has given and His great faithfulness. He has allowed me to be on the Race and experience His glory in other cultures and people. He has given me a magnificent group of people to grow and serve with. He has given me supportive people back home who keep up and love on me even though I’m thousands of miles away. I could go on and on, but He really has been so good.
As I look back on these past couple of months, I’m overwhelmed with how much has happened and what I’ve been doing. The moments I’ve had with people, all the countries I’ve been too, and my encounters with Jesus have been indescribable and ones that I’ll cherish forever. Then I asked myself why those things were so good and meaningful. The Lord quickly showed me that it was the emotions I felt behind all of those experiences. The good emotions…and the bad. Lately, my squad has been discussing that in order to feel the good emotions, we have to feel the bad ones too. Often in my past, I stuffed my fear, sadness, anger, and all the other hard and painful ones…but in doing so, I numbed joy, elation, peace, trust, amazement, and love. We serve an emotional God. He gave us these unique gifts so that we could experience the fullness and glory of His earth. That idea makes me want to just stop and worship every time I think about it.
On the race, hard things happen. I feel frustrated when the little girl, who desperately wants to be my friend, can’t understand my language. I feel grief and anguish when I see a drunk man in the street who can’t even stand on his two feet. I feel angry when I pass by broken down shacks that people call home. I feel confused and abandoned when the Lord teaches me something that doesn’t make sense. I feel lonely when I walk into a classroom of 30 students without one of my teammates beside me. I feel exhausted when ministry that day just didn’t give me any life or energy. I feel hopeless when God takes me to the depths of something hard that seems to have no light in it. These are all really raw emotions, and honestly, they aren’t fun to feel. But I’ve learned that that’s okay… I’ll no longer stuff them and pretend they don’t exist. Because when I let them in, I feel and see how the world was supposed to be. I feel the connection with the little girl despite the initial lack of words. I feel the empathy and mercy for the drunk man on the street. I feel the amazement of what the Lord wanted to show me when I come out of the cloud of confusion. I feel the excitement and promise of the Lord restoring this earth one day. I feel the joy of being reunited with my team after a long, hard day. I feel the rest and relief of the Lord pouring back into me during the Sabbath. I feel the light shine on my face when I go to the depths with Jesus and resurface with a new and fresh perspective. These emotions give experiences meaning and beauty but only if we feel the painful ones too.
So this year, I’m thankful for emotions. For the roller coaster they take me on, and the meaning and life they bring to my existence. My prayer became that I will feel the Father’s emotions. That I will feel joy in the things that bring Him joy, that my heart will break for what breaks His, and that He will grant me the empathy to be there for those who share and embrace their emotions, the good and the bad. We serve a creative and glorious artist. He is worthy of all our praise and thanksgiving.
Psalm 145:10-12
All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord, and all your saints shall bless you! They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom and tell of your power, to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds, and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
