Moses, me and you.
Read Exodus 1
The first story is of a man from many many years ago. This man comes from the book of Exodus and his name is Moses. The Hebrews were growing in numbers and Pharaoh was afraid. Pharaoh commanded all male babies to be thrown into the Nile River to be killed. A baby was born that had God’s favor and God had big plans for him. This small infant had big plans to lead these Hebrew people to freedom; a freedom that this people group needed for a long time. God navigated Moses down the Nile River only protected by a papyrus basket and led him straight into Pharaoh’s daughter’s bathing spot in the Nile River. I am sure that Moses grew up with an identity crisis. Here is this child that was raised in a mighty ruler’s home but knew that he was a Hebrew child saved from dying by being sent down a river in a basket. He has an identity crisis of who he is in Egypt which is the adopted son of the ruler of Egypt and who God is calling him to be which is the adopted son of God. Do you struggle with that same identity crisis? You were born into this world but you feel like you don’t belong? This world is hard. It is painful. Sometimes it is easy to give into things that will lead you more and more into brokenness. But you also know that you are an adopted son or daughter of the highest king?
Not only was Moses probably suffering by identity crisis but he was also suffering from anger which led to murder. In Exodus 2:11-15, we find Moses frustrated with an Egyptian man for being mean to a Hebrew and he murders the man. He quickly hides what he did but realizes later that people have heard about what he did and he ran. I cannot imagine the shame and guilt that Moses felt. He probably didn’t know what to do and didn’t know any other way but to run from his shame and guilt. How many times have I ran when I have done something that I am ashamed of? It is so easy to run than to face what you have done. I am starting to see that this man that God has called into a high position is not perfect.
Moses fled. He left. He said see ya to his life and didn’t face what he had done. But God wasn’t done with him. God had bigger plans for Moses that he had not yet revealed to him. God had been preparing Moses since he was an infant to do a task much bigger than Moses would have ever expected.
The ministry that we are working with sets time aside each day to have an hour Amad. Each morning at 10am, we arrive at one of the ministry sites and sit with God. My favorite quote explaining their heart behind Amad is “If you don’t go tell God about people, you can’t tell people about God.” You have to be filled before you can pour out to others otherwise there will be nothing to pour out except for words that come from you. So I have been reading through Exodus and also reading the She Reads Truth devotional over Exodus. (Download the app! The studies are amazing!)
Yesterday I picked up my phone and read yesterday’s devotional over Moses and the burning bush. I have heard that story many times so I quickly read through the story acting like I could recite it by memory and then read the blog post about it in the She Reads Truth devotional.
The writer of the blog begins at Exodus 3. We find older Moses doing his new job in his new land that he ran away to. Moses is now married and has a child. He has completely started his life over after what he did to the Egyptian man. I am sure that at this point Moses has started to become comfortable in his new life but still gets haunted by his past. Moses in Exodus 3 is going through his everyday life as a shepherd. I can picture Moses waking up as he does every morning. He turns off his alarm clock, drinks his cup of coffee while reading his newspaper, pats his son on his head, and goes off to work like every other day. But this day Moses notices something different while walking through the mountains and over to the wilderness with his flock. Out of the corner of his eye he sees flames of fire within a bush.
“Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight – why the bush does not burn up.”
Exodus 3:2-3
I would’ve been curious, too if there was a burning bush on fire! But this is the kicker that the blog writer in She Reads Truth pointed out that really hit deep.
“When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush “Moses! Moses!”
Exodus 3:4
God spoke when Moses sought. Moses fled from his past and he fled FAST and probably didn’t look back. I am sure Moses has had his head down in shame and guilt for the past however many years he has been in Midian. I am sure he thinks the same thing I think sometimes “If God only knew what I did he wouldn’t want me.” But guess what. God knows. God knew what Moses did. But God still had a calling for Moses. I wonder how long God had been trying to get Moses to look up out of his shame. God doesn’t jump up and down wanting us to notice him. God wants us to want to turn to Him. I wonder how many small signs God was showing Moses in those many years that he was Midian to show him that God still had big plans for him. It took a burning bush for Moses to come out of his shame and recognize that God could make something beautiful out of his brokenness.
Spoiler alert. God used that broken man to lead the Hebrews out of slavery to freedom. Moses is a man paving a path for Jesus. Moses doubted himself many times. Shame and guilt runs deep when you have been carrying it for as many years as Moses carried it for. God had to constantly remind Moses that he was capable and that God had a bigger purpose for him.
I read this yesterday and asked for God to show me what my burning bush was for the day. I just wanted to focus on today. What did God want to show me? Yesterday we drew pictures during our worship time in the morning and our ministry was to go out and share those pictures with people that we find out in the city. All of this is new to me and can be scary. But I had prayed that prayer before we left so I walked in the confidence that God was going to show me my burning bush.
We had been walking for about an hour and a half through Kathmandu. Let me tell ya… they call it hills but sometimes I feel like I am walking up mountains in this city. My legs hurt, my stomach was growling, and I wanted hot lemon soda and honey. But I prayed that prayer again. “God, show me that burning bush.”
Lazarus, one of my new favorite friends, saw a man sitting in the grass inside a fence at a soccer game. Lazarus yelled through the fence at the man and everyone turned around except for him. He kept yelling until one of the other men motioned that he couldn’t hear him. He was deaf. So the man’s friend tapped him on the shoulder and told him that Lazarus wanted him. The man walked over and Lazarus pulled out his folded up picture he drew at Amad. It was a man with a checkered black and white shirt with a ball cap on and this man had a black and white shirt with a ball cap. In the corner of the paper, it said “God loves you.” The man smiled, nodded, and pointed to his ears and shook his head. He turned and went back to sit and stared at the paper. I stood there smiling at that man and said “Okay, God. Is this the burning bush?” I felt like it was. The group was ready to move on but I felt like we needed to say so I said “do you guys mind if we watch the soccer game for a few minutes?” They all agreed and Lazarus and I walked straight over to the man.
For the next hour, this man and Lazarus wrote back and forth about his life. He lives in a home with four other deaf students. He is probably mid twenties and just now learning sign which means he probably lived most of his life not communicating to others except through writing. He couldn’t stop smiling and laughing. A few of us have little experience with sign language and this month I have actually been learning sign at night before I go to sleep through my ASL app. We sat in the grass for a solid hour with my stomach growling communicating with this man. At the end, Lazarus asked if we could pray for him. It was beautiful. I found my burning bush and it wasn’t what I expected. Instead it was me slowing down, taking away my own plans for my life, and sitting with someone.
Some many times in America I rushed life. I HAD to go to the gym at 4:30 even if that meant cutting conversation short with people. I HAD to watch that episode of Scandal instead of talking to my roommates. I HAD to finish that chapter of Harry Potter at Frothy Monkey instead of starting conversation with the person next to me. I HAD to scroll through my insta feed in the grocery store line stead of talking to the woman behind me. I kept my head down many times when God was saying “Look up. I have so many great things in store for you.”
Can I ask you a favor, will you ask God to reveal what your burning bush is this week? And will you email me about what He told you? I really want to know because I know that no matter how small you feel, God thinks you’re huge and capable. No matter how much guilt you carry, God thinks you are worthy. Just read through Exodus 1-15 and see how a broken man was led to do amazing things. You are capable of SO MUCH MORE! Trust in Him and believe you are a worthy warrior.
