Unconditional love has always been a tough concept for me to wrap my mind around. No matter how many times I read in Psalms about God’s “unfailing love”, I never fully understood it. I had the head knowledge that He did, but in my heart I always felt this questioning. “How can that be? Is it really true?” Now here you’re probably thinking, well, Jenna, it’s in the Bible over and over again, of course it’s true. You’ve felt the love of Jesus, how can you not know? My thoughts exactly. How can I not know? After months of prayer and conversations, I think I’ve finally figured it out:
I grew up believing that love was conditional.
Early on in my life my parents got divorced. That was my first knowledge about love, that the two most important people in my life decided they didn’t love each other anymore. And then it just continued from there; failed relationships with friends when we got in fights, strained relationships with family, past boyfriends and broken promises, I’ve never had a relationship with true unconditional love. Not until Jesus.
It’s a hard thing to wrap your mind around when throughout your life people have come and gone, with only a select few sticking by your side (shout out to my people- youda best!). When things get hard, people leave. When you have disagreements, people leave. When you make a big mistake, people leave. What would happen if we all stopped leaving?
People will inevitably disappoint you in life. We’re human, and we’re going to make mistakes. And then comes the choice, are you going to stay and fight, or are you going to run for the hills to protect your own heart?
If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that love is hard. True unconditional love takes commitment, courage, strength, and a desire to be the most Christ-like version of yourself you can possibly be. I can’t think of anything more Christ-like than unconditional love. What if we as believers were known for unconditionally loving every person we know? Sacrificing, committing, and putting others’ needs and feelings over our own. Isn’t that the reason that sin is so easily kept a secret? People are afraid of losing the ones most important to them by showing their flaws and sins, so we put on this persona until we can’t keep it up anymore, and then the world comes crumbling down. If we were able to be 100% open with each other, without fear of judgement or abandonment, life would be filled with so much more love and honesty.
I want to be the kind of person that people believe will never abandon them when things get hard. I want to be the kind of person people can come to and confess sins knowing I would never judge them, because I struggle with sin, too. I understand how hard it is to love unconditionally, but still want to chose love, every time, only by the strength and grace of God.
I also believe there’s a balance between unconditional love and guarding your heart. We have to guard our hearts since all flows from it (Proverbs 4:23), and unconditional love makes us vulnerable to hurt. It’s a challenge to keep your heart soft through the vulnerability and the hurt, but with Jesus it’s possible, because that’s the command He gave to us; “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34).
I praise God for the restored relationships in my life, and that He gives us the opportunity to love people like Christ. And let me get one thing straight, I can only love because He first loved me. I only know how to forgive because He first forgave me. I want my unconditional love for people to come from the best unconditional love I’ve ever known: Jesus. And I’m excited for this new chapter in my life. Now that I’ve identified why it’s so hard for my heart to accept Jesus’ unconditional love, I can pray through that and rely on God’s faithfulness to show me the truth. And in the mean time, I’m going to pray through the hurt in my heart from the break ups; the failed relationships, friendships, and the ones that I could have loved better. And when the bitterness creeps in, I’ll pray blessings over those people instead, because that bitterness doesn’t belong in my heart, and only inhibits me from loving people to the best of my ability.
So here’s my challenge: love people well. That’s it. Everyone wants to be loved and craves connection. Be Christ to them, and love them like He does- with an unconditional and unfailing love. Praise God, especially this Easter as we remember His ultimate act of true love- sacrificing himself for us.
God bless,
Jenna
