I’m surrounded by babies, diaper changes, bottle feedings, toys strewn about every day. Seven pairs of eyes staring up at you as you feed them and rock them to sleep. It’s enchanting. And the whole time all I can think about is one thing- Jesus.
Can you fathom that Jesus came down to earth in the form of a baby? God, helpless in Mary’s arms, to save us all? I could think of no more perfect a ministry to be at this Christmas than one where I get the opportunity to love on abandoned babies and just let that thought resonate in my heart. And while I love the ministry I’m at, being around a family, while a blessing, makes me super homesick. Yes, on instagram and Facebook the Race looks like a big vacation and a huge adventure every day, while in reality, it’s almost the complete opposite.
The past month, we’ve had 10 or 12 hour days of being around the house, doing chores, taking care of kids, prepping meals, doing painting in the village in the mountains, and it’s pretty tedious work. It can be frustrating, especially with all the sickness my team has been experiencing. And I’m not proud to say that I haven’t chosen joy every moment of every day. After a day’s work, we still have to come back and talk and do feedback and team time. It can be exhausting. I miss my family and friends, I miss being home for the holidays, I miss my boyfriend, I miss the routine and being able to sit on a couch and watch tv and cuddle up in a big warm blanket on a snowy night.
And I’ve had enough of my pity party. Talk about first world problems. 40% of Honduras lives on less than a dollar a day. That means 40% of Honduran families per year live on less than what just my PACK costs, just my pack. That’s not even my belongings I brought in it. Can you imagine? It’s so easy to overlook the blessings that God has given us, especially when we live in such a materialistic world.
I’m accepting that this is where God has called me, and even though I’m homesick and missing my loved ones, that I’m content in Christ, and I need to rest in Him. Jesus left Heaven, the most perfect place there will ever be, to come and be our Savior. While He was on earth, he wasn’t constantly counting down the days until He got to return to Heaven and be with his Father. He wasn’t looking forward to going back home; He was fully engaged in His calling and loved people like no one else has ever been able to do.
Ministry can be hard. There’s days where you have no idea if you’re even making a difference. Language barriers make it even harder to share the Gospel than just in your first language. For example, last month at El Ayudante, I had the blessing of making a relationship with one of the older girls. To be honest, I don’t really know why she chose me; I could barely understand her Spanish, and she didn’t talk much. But I loved that girl and every opportunity I got I told her how much Jesus loved her. One of the last conversations I had with her, I tried to tell her about her identity in Christ and who God sees her as, and I have no idea if anything I said even made sense. I was totally relying on Holy Spirit to take the reigns on that one, just hoping that my point made it across.
And that’s the thing. With ministry, you don’t always see the immediate fruit of your labors. You just have to trust that God has you where He needs you, and if you’re obedient to His call, then He’ll take it from there. That’s something that I’ve had to constantly remind myself these past few months, that God has me where He wants me. That I have to stop counting down the days till I go home, because once this year is over, it’s done. And I never want to take for granted this blessing and the honor of going out into the nations and loving on God’s children. There’s no place I’d rather be than in God’s will for my life, and right now, that means to be in Honduras for Christmas this year.
Give your loved ones an extra hug for me this Christmas, and please never forget how truly blessed we are in the United States. And if you have a little extra, think about how you can bless somebody else with all God has given you. I miss you and love you all!
God bless,
Jenna
