I always knew God could use anyone to bring someone closer to Him, but never did I think he would use a sick 5-year-old boy to do that for me. The last blog I wrote was about Moises, and I thought it fitting to write my summarizing blog about Panama about him as well. Every big realization I’ve had this month has been related to this little boy, and he may never even know.
1. God cares so much more about our inner beauty than our outer beauty. Moises has a rare skin condition that leaves open, oozing sores all over his body. Most of the time when I would hold him, I’d end up with puss and body leakage on my arms and shirt, but I literally didn’t care. It didn’t gross me out, as it normally would, because I had so much love for this kid. When Moises would laugh, his smile would make my heart stop. It was so pure and joyful, when he is a boy who can’t speak or hear. In normal circumstances, he shouldn’t be happy. But he has the love of God pouring out of him, protecting him. It’s amazing.
2. God loves when we cling to him in times of uncertainty or fear. When Moises was in sign class or overwhelmed, he would climb in my lap, grab my hand, or motion for me to pick him up. It’s an indescribable feeling for a child to trust you enough to protect them, especially when you can’t actually communicate with them. God lovesit when we run to Him in those times when we can’t help ourselves.
3. God loves us unconditionally, even when we don’t acknowledge Him. Moises was a five year old boy, with the attention span of a five-year-old boy. When we would arrive, sometimes it would take him a little bit to warm up to me again, and I was completely content with just being in his presence and being around him. God has shown me that he feels the same way; that even when we’re not acknowledging Him, he’s still in our presence.
4. Having a childlike faith is one of the most important aspects of my relationship with God. This was a huge one. Moises doesn’t know sign fluently, so he has to rely on those who provide for him for everything. Half the time, he doesn’t even know what’s going on. He has to trust them. Much like how we don’t know what God’s plans are for us, but we trust that He is good and only has our best interest at heart.
5. There are some things I will never understand, and I have to be ok with that. Whether it’s timing, someone’s situation, a person who doesn’t get healed, I have to trust that God knows and is taking care of it. Saying goodbye to Moises was so hard. I couldn’t explain to him that I was leaving, that God will be taking care of him, that he will always be in my heart, that he has literally changed my life, that I’ll pray for him, that I hope to one day see him again. I have to trust that God will communicate that all for me, and there’s no one else I’d rather take care of that little angel than our Creator.
6. This is going to be one heck of a year. In just my first month, my heart has been broken several times. I cried when bugs were crawling in Moises wounds, when we raised the $700 for his procedure in just 2 days, when I had to say goodbye to Him, when I realized how much God has taught me in just a few weeks.
I am so blessed to be taking this journey and grow closer to Jesus, and as hard as these experiences are, I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for us in Costa Rica; if it’s anything like Panama, it will be an incredible month!
Prayer requests:
-Safe travels for my squad to Costa Rica on Wednesday
-Financial support, I’m still in need of $6,500!
-My team and our continued growth together as sisters in Christ
Thank you for the prayers and the support, I love you all!
God bless,
Jenna
