Hello everyone!
This blog post is just to give more information on the incredible journey Jesus is taking me on and how I came about applying for it.
At the end of my junior year, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I had nothing figured out, so I would just choose things I thought sounded good, then I would become dissatisfied and have to go back to square one. As my senior year began, the pressure of deciding a college, major and start applying for scholarships started to sink in. Nothing I had thought about excited me or had my interest. I couldn’t help feeling like there was something I was missing, like I needed a break in between high school and college.
Because of this, I was reminded of my brother, Alex, and how he went on the World Race a little over a year ago. When Alex had left, I had briefly thought about doing something like this. However, I quickly brushed it off because I thought I had it all together here and I didn’t need anything like this to jeopardize it. However, God had different plans. Pretty soon, a lot of the things I thought I had together, things that made me content in the world, were being taken away from me. This was an extremely painful process. It felt like it all happened at once. One thing after another from last March into June was being stripped away. I felt so broken and bitter for a while. I started getting help during the summer and that helped me to realize God took these things away, not to punish me but because my focus wasn’t on him, it was earthly things.
I soon realized I needed to step away from my comfort zone in order to place my full identity in him and not half in the world, half in him. God laid the World Race on my heart once again, I at first thought about a month long mission trip during the summer called Ambassador. However, I felt God again, calling me to place my trust in him and go all in for Gap year, a nine month mission trip instead. Where I will live out of a back pack, in five different countries and serving Gods people. I kept wondering if this was truly where he wanted me to go, and He kept and still keeps assuring me that this is where he wants me through my devotions, when I read my bible, talks with my friends and music.
This weekend, I went to a high school conference called Impact. The theme was ‘I Am’ and it focused on all who Jesus is, and who we are in him. This conference opened my eyes to what I had been doing in those months of struggling. I had been placing Jesus in a vase. In the sense that, in John 15 it talks about how, Jesus is the vine. When we abide in Christ, we are like roses on the vine. We will grow, we will be made stronger when the gardener (God) prunes us. It won’t make us weaker, even though it is painful. When we don’t abide in Christ, we are like roses in a vase; weak and vulnerable. We cannot become strong when pruned, rather we wither away. This made me realize that during those times of suffering and before hand, I was a rose in a vase. I wasn’t abiding in Christ. I was weak, placing my hope and comfort in earthly things trying to do and plan things myself. Thinking I was strong enough on my own. Now, I couldn’t be more excited to start this new journey, placing my full dependency on Jesus and abiding in him rather than be a rose in a vase.
Sorry for the long blog post! I am truly excited to be apart of Gap year route 2 and see what else God has in store to show me and teach me as I dive deeper into this journey!
“Sing to the Lord, Praise his name; Proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among nations, his marvelous deeds among peoples.” Psalm 96:2-3
