If you have spent any time around me at all, I am certain that the title of this entry throws you for a loop. In fact, I would venture to say that the majority of the people in my life would describe that I am the opposite of a feeler. The truth is that unless you give incredible hugs or I am really comfortable around you, then there is a chance that I’m not fond of you entering my personal space. Therefore I was astounded to find to find that according to the Myers and Briggs personality test that I am an ESFJ. However, the F in the Myers and Briggs survey is not referring to physical touch, but instead focuses on how one makes a decision. In this instance, a feeler makes decisions based on specific individual circumstances versus relying on statistics or logic.
Where am I going with this?
Just this morning, the Holy Spirit brought these things to my mind. It occurred to me that I signed up for the World Race because I am a feeler. Since I was 12 years old, I have been passionate about missions. I know all of the statistics, I know that there aren’t nearly enough missionaries on the field in unreached areas to possibly get the gospel to every people group, I know that there are more human slaves right now than in any other generation in history, and I know that God has chosen us as his disciples to take the message of Jesus to the nations, but honestly none of that is real to me without faces. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jesus, and my heart desires to see people from all nations come to know him. However, I am at my core very skeptical. In simpler terms, it is difficult for me to act unless I observe it for myself. For example, Afghanistan was just another country in the Middle East to me until I read the novel A Thousand Splendid Suns. For the first time in my life, I considered what it might have been like to grow up as female in a predominately Muslim nation during the rise of the Taliban regime. I was so wrecked by those thoughts that I was grieved to tears for an entire week. Before my visit to Swaziland in 2012, it was just another country in Africa that had been touched by the HIV/AIDS epidemic, but now I view it as a nation that is in desperate need of a gospel sized solution that has forever stolen a fragment of my heart.
I believe that the Lord has called me to the World Race not to have another cool life experience, but because he wants break down my pride in such a way that I can truly come to understand what it means to have a heart for the nations. My prayer throughout this journey is that as the Lord breaks down barriers of sin in my life that He will be doing the same in all of you. If you are a feeler, as I am, then I would encourage you to leave your skepticism and comfort zone behind and find an opportunity to serve the Lord internationally. As followers of Christ we are called to something so much bigger than comfort and security. He wants to use you. Are you willing to step out in faith?
