The world race isn’t always grand adventures and picture worthy moments. I want people to see the unglamorous parts of my life on the race as well. So, here’s a glimpse into my day yesterday…
Weak. Exhausted. Nauseous. Homesick.
Homesick? I NEVER thought that would happen. After all, I’m a grown adult who hasn’t even lived at home for years. Yet, here I am craving a hug from my mom.
8 hours tossing & turning on the tile floor. Shifting from side to side sliding around in a puddle of my own sweat. A fan regurgitating hot air at me for some relief. Wanting to cry but tears won’t come out. I think my body’s too exhausted for that.
My heart is sad knowing I am missing the last day of ministry with my joyfuls before team changes. Come on body, why are you doing this now? Restlessness of soul anticipating all the changes on the horizon. Deep sadness leaving the people here in Cambodia I’ve come to love. Guilt that I can’t give them my all on the last day I will ever see them.
The verse my mentor gave me before leaving on the race comes to mind…”That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” -2 cor. 12:10
It is in these very moments that the Lord reminds me that He is my strength and I can do NOTHING apart from Him giving me the ability to do it. I am a fragile human whose every breath is determined by Him.
Fast forward to this morning. We are all packed into the tuk tuk driving to our hostel. 8 people + 7 large packs + small engine + steep hill = not a good situation. The engine is making loud grinding noises and I’m white knuckling it when out of nowhere a man on a motorbike comes up behind us and pushes us up with his foot!!! In that moment it felt like the Lord told me once again to look and see that when we are weak He is strong. He gave me a physical example to show me that He is the one giving us that push we need when we feel like we just can’t go any further to make it up whatever steep hill we may be climbing.
Our own strength so often fails us. Our physical bodies may get sick. We may have days where we feel tired, frustrated, or alone. But, we can always cling to the truth of His Word…”my health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” –psalm 73:26 Having a relationship with my loving Heavenly Father through Jesus is something nothing and nobody can ever take away from me and will forever be the source of my strength.
p.s. I am still not 100% but feeling much better! He is also a pretty great healer:)
