-RUNNING-

It’s all I’ve ever known

So how do I find myself here KNEELING paralyzed before Your Throne?

Shoes thumping carry me down the street. futile attempt to out run mySELF.

Sweat, rain, and tears collide on my face

God I can’t even stand. Can I really run this race!?!?

Staring down at Your feet, afraid to glance up or acknowlege your embrace.

What will they think if they see the real me?

Please tell me, who is she? 

What if I fall. make a fool of myself?

Will I be left all alone again gasping for air?

“GeT mE oUt Of HeRe” -screams the fear

It’s trying to steal away with my purpose and dreams

It chases me like a thick cloud

Why does it have to yell so loud!?

But something much stronger and faster catches up with me first as I try to keep pace

Here it comes, I can’t out run it

Swept away again in a whirlwind of mercy & grace

Then comes a great shout that trumps all other noise…

“MY DAUGHTER” it says “YOU MAKE ME SO PROUD!”

His sword gently tapping each shoulder I am annointed with power from on high

All of heaven cheers me on with a great cry

SILENCE

What happens next?

Holding my breathe. Heart pounding out of my chest.

Do I risk it, image and all, or stay down here afraid I will fall

Will I WALK in the calling or continue KNEELING in fear…

I know there’s only one way but I feel stuck to the floor

It’s time, I must go

I can’t stay here anymore.

I wrote this poem while on a night run in Bangkok. I hope it speaks of God being bigger and grander than anything else we may face.