October 11th:
Well I just found out my best friend, my pal, my right had woman is leaving the field and going home. What are my thoughts? Cry, Cry, cry, cry, cry, CRY, CRY, CRY!!! How am I supposed to feel after hearing my person say she’s going home when you have 6 weeks left of the race? I feel like I’m supposed to be angry at God, but I’m not because I know this is something she needs. I also need to trust that God’s plan is greater than our own. I always say this but by putting this into action I realize it is not an easy thing to do, trust God, think his plan is good. Then I actually start to feel selfish, because I don’t want her to leave. I have seen her face and spent every day with her for the last 6 months and I can’t imagine one day without her.
October 16th:
Today Jenna and I walked Rae to the coffee shop at the airport and said our good-byes. Then w took a beautiful/funny group pic. It has been the 3 of us on a team for the past 6 months and its hard to say goodbye. We try our best to fight back the tears but there is honestly no use. We got our first round of hugs in and then Rae decides she needs a 2nd round before she goes. Walking away was the hardest, I tried my best not to turn around and look at her because I know that if I do, I won’t let her get on that plane. Its night now and I grab my small journal that I had write in earlier today and decide before I go to sleep I want to see what she wrote. She wrote me a friendly and not to sappy “see you later” and then wrote down a few memories that we shared together, which just made me smile. I finish reading and say “i love you girl” out loud and then gently fall asleep.
October 17th:
This morning I woke up and started reading my devotional and before even getting 10 minutes in I’m reminded by myself that Rae is not there. I suddenly have a hard time focusing on my devotional and think about my dear friend and I am going to miss her a lot over the next few weeks. I also know that the next few days will be hard, I see my teammates wearing her clothes and I’m reminded of her, I sit in the middle seat in the car and I’m reminded that’s where Rae sat. I feel like sometimes we act like shes dead and thats not it at all. Its just hard to be so close to someone and be around someone everyday and then just suddenly cut that off. If you are reading this post please keep my team and I; Rae included; in your prayers through this transition and the days to come.
