Excerpts from my journal during our time in Mukono, Uganda from August 1st – 28th:
This morning we moved bricks. We had an assembly line and kids jumped in…even 4 year old, Lytone. She has stolen my heart. – August 2nd, 2013
Brick throwing again today! I sustained a bit of an injury…but it resulted in cuddle time with Lytone. We had children’s class in the afternoon that meant more time with Lytone. She knows my name and picks me out of a crowd. She beat me in a banana eating contest! Her poor, malnourished, distended tummy probably didn’t know what to think. I learned from Agnes that Lytone has a mom who rarely goes to church…Jay and I have formed such a bond with her. – August 3rd, 2013
In the evening, we headed to church for cell groups and I got to love on Lytone while we waited. She took me to a group of boys, said something in Luganda, slapped my chest and said, “Jennie!” I felt so much love. I cannot describe the bond I feel with her. – August 7th, 2013
As we waited at the church, I got to love on Lytone! She climbed in the van and grabbed me out! It was the sweetest! – August 8th, 2013
Today was bizarre. Lytone was sad for the first time ever, Madison got diagnosed with Typhoid and there were murders, riots and tear gas in town. – August 9th, 2013
More manual labor today! As we returned to work after a short break, Lytone kept pulling me over to play with her. I wanted nothing more than to just sit and love on her but we were down a few sick teammates today. I saw a sad little boy, Patrick, and told them to love each other. She held him in her lap and cuddled him. As I watched her, I knew that I was the one who taught her to love in that way. We returned in the evening to attend small groups. Lytone tried to go to Rataya's house with us, but our translator wouldn’t allow it. We returned to the church after the study and found that Lytone had been talking to Teresa about me. Earlier, she had shown me to her mom. Mama Lytone looked so happy to see us together. I feel like she’s supposed to be mine…I don’t understand, Lord. – August 14th, 2013
We passed bricks today and every once in a while, we passed Lytone down the line. – August 15th, 2013
I told Lytone “Nkwagala!” (I love you) today and she said “Nkwagala, Jennie!” She also called me “Mama Jennie” at one point. She was on my back while I was moving bricks. It was precious. – August 17th, 2013
At evening church, Lytone sat with me for a bit. She’s adorable and ornery. She fits right in! Father, SPEAK to me about Lytone. Why do I love her as though she’s mine? What am I supposed to learn from her? Speak to me. I’m LISTENING. – August 18th, 2013
Frida and Aggie talked to me about Lytone. Her mother struggles with alcoholism and prostitution. She used to get the kids drunk and lock them inside all day. Aggie found them a few years ago and now that doesn’t happen anymore. There are 4 or 5 different fathers to the 8 or 9 kids. Her mother is trying now and is such a hard worker. Agnes said Lytone’s mother wouldn’t miss her if I took her. My heart is broken. – August 19th, 2013
We did house visits this morning. Lytone went to the first visit with us and was so well behaved. She sat in my lap while Jay shared Jesus with a Muslim family. It felt so natural. During the evening, we had preparatory class. Lytone sat in my lap so quietly (after she climbed in the van to get me out) until they made her leave. She left her filthy rag with me, so I still have it to return to her. This morning, she was looking at pictures on my iPhone. She stopped on the pictures of food and took “bites” with her fingers from the photo to her mouth. HUNGER SUCKS. – August 20th, 2013
We played with Lytone and her siblings before leaving church. We saw Lytone’s “ugly side.” Whining sounds the same in every language. She’s still the best. – August 21st, 2013
Choir practice and Lytone time in the evening! I am confident that she is just as in love with us as we are with her. It rips my heart out to say goodbye every day. – August 22nd, 2013
We took our date this morning and purchased ugali and beans to deliver to Lytone’s family. It felt like we left our child at home for a date. God, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Why is my heart so for her? Why do I love her more every time I look at her? Why do I feel like she’s supposed to be ours? There’s just something about Lytone. You, Father, put something in her. She is YOURS. She is not mine. My heart is breaking. 4 more days…that’s all that is left. Then what? How long will I mourn the loss of her? How long will my heart hurt? God, be my comforter. I need you to collect my tears. I know this is not in vain, but I don’t understand. Everytime I see her it gets harder to say goodbye. Everytime I hug her it gets harder to let her go. Everytime I see her smile, I fall a little more in love. God, I want to be in your will. Reveal your plan. I trust you, Father. I trust that You are good. I trust that You will protect her. I trust that by your grace, she will not be a statistic. I submit her to You, to her mother and to her church. When I leave here, I will let go and just trust you but until then, I must keep holding her tight. God, CONFIRM to JAY & I what you have for us with her. We need to hear you speak. – August 23rd, 2013
To Be Continued…
