Thursday October 9, 2014 Gainsville Georgia. That’s where it happened. . . that’s where I lost my trust.
I sat in my tent in the red Georgia clay crying my eyes out, crying to my mom on the phone and to my Father in my heart. I was pretty sure of two things; 1. I had totally heard God wrong about the World Race and 2. I wasn’t going to make it the 8 days I had left at training camp. We had finished the second day of the women’s retreat, Beauty for Ashes, and as I examined the hurt, shame and finally healing God has done in my life, I was overwhelmed and felt set free. . . not where the enemy wanted me, so he gave me his all. I was overcome by an unsettling and uncharacteristic spirit of fear. Fear of failure, fear of not being enough, just plain old ugly FEAR!
That night as I cried, I also cried out. I knew the fear was not of God but I just couldn’t shake it. I spoke the words of 2 Timothy 1:7 over and over and told God that I needed Him to speak into my life if this was really what I was supposed to be doing and where I was supposed to be.
***I’d like to take this moment to remind you, when you ask something of God, be prepared for His response!!
As the last day of the retreat began and the start of training camp loomed overhead, I had all but decided I was going to go to the WR staff and “opt out’ of all that was to come, the only problem was that pesky little prayer from the night before. During a break, one of my fellow squadmates from Q sQuad, came up to me and said, “I just want you to know that even though we don’t know each other well yet, God really had you on my heart last night. So much so that I had to start praying for you and asked some fellow squadmates if they knew how you were doing. I want to let you know that God has you right where you are supposed to be and that you are an important part of our squad.” WOW. That would have been enough right? Not for my God! Over the next two days He sent two more people, people I had never met, to give me His words. Words of encouragement, words of comfort, words like “It’s no mistake you are here.” “God is proud of you and you are right where you are supposed to be.”
All of this and in just 4 days! The rest of training camp was a blur of physical, emotional and spiritual exhaustion, all of which drew us closer together as a sQuad and closer to God. I can not wait to see what God has in store for us over the next year, all the things He will do in and through us!
As an extra blessing (I love when God shows off just because He can!) we were given our launch date at camp. . . . January 7, 2015!!
Now. . . . for a little house keeping! With our launch date set I’m looking ahead to my next financial deadline on Dec 19 of $7900. Please click the Support Me tab to the left if you can help me meet my goal! I’m also still selling t-shirts for $20
and have a few items left on my registry,http://www.myregistry.com/organization/The-World-Race-Mckinney-TX/676980 (some new ones added now that I’ve experienced training camp and have a better idea of what I need!).
As always, I love your prayers! Prayers that I continue to hear and listen to God, prayers for my sQuad, my team and my preparation to leave my family and community for a year! Thank you for joining me on this crazy, wild, God filled adventure!!
In His service
Jenn
