Fundraising Status: $12,269 of $16,250 (75.5%)
Regardless of the cheesy title, this sums up my feelings so far on the Race. About midway through month 4 in India, two of our team mates expressed how they felt God calling them to leave the Race. The first prayed, sought wise counsel, asked us to pray for her, and then a couple days later, having not misheard Gods call, left and went back home. The other girl (who we’ve both claimed each other as best friends for life) continued to pray, and research other organizations outside the Race that she could join. At the end of the Race, we left her in Hampi, where she’ll be joining other Christian ministries in India and eventually other countries. They will both be missed.
Despite our losses, this month, in short, has been the bomb. After a short flight from La Paz to another city in Bolivia, to Miami for a couple hour long flight to New York where we had a day long layover and then hopped on a 15 hour flight to New Delhi, India and then from there a 2 hour long flight to Hyderabad and then from there a nine hour taxi drive to Bellari. And then after a couple days there, a 2 hour drive and we arrived at our ministry site in Hampi, India. I’ve actually learned to sleepwalk and enjoy travel days. Quality introvert time. Hampi is an awesome hippie, touristy town. Extremely culturally rich, spiritually dark, and physically poor. Our ministry here was in “All Tribes Cafe” where we were baristas. We spent our days making specialty coffee drinks for tourists that would come in. We would build relationships with them and share the Gospel. Funny how the Holy Spirit works His way into conversations cause I don’t think there was a person who walked out the door without hearing about Jesus. Some people even stayed until midnight to talk about God and another borrowed a Bible, came back to return it a couple days later…and we found out that he actually read it. I was pretty impressed considering I’ve been saved for years and I forget we’re still supposed to be reading that thing. We would make lunch and invite people to eat with us, we’d plan game nights, and one of the girls on our team is a hairstylist and would give free haircuts. Whenever business would get slow, we’d do prayer walks or make chai and walk around the town asking (begging) people to come into our cafe. We met so many awesome people and heard so many adventurous stories.
Right now, we’re here in Hyderabad having debrief. I guess most people assume that since we lost two team members, we must have had a hard month. There must have been conflict, a falling out, judgment…and there wasn’t. We loved each other and actually had an amazing month. It doesn’t mean it didn’t hit our team hard though. I’m kinda terrible at goodbyes and it’s hard for me to be real and let myself feel what I’m feeling when I experience loss. When I see that we’ll no longer be seven sisters, but five…and then eventually have our teams switched altogether.
There’s something that’s always awkward about goodbyes. Something in me that doesn’t know what to say. Something that I want to say, but try to hide so I don’t look like Bambi who just realized that his moms been shot. Is it possible to sum up life experiences in notes or a hug or two? I usually just watch the other persons face as we subconsciously decide if we should be sentimental and cry and…stuff, or just not look at each other, hug, and maybe crack a joke or two to avoid feeling truth. I don’t think anyone likes goodbyes, but some are just better at being less awkward than others. Or maybe just more fake than others.
I feel like I should be used to it by now. The Race is all about goodbyes. I had to say goodbye to my family, friends, comfortable job, the home church that I finally found. I had to say goodbye to life missed back home also. I had to say goodbye to the first six months of my niece or nephews life due this July. I had to say goodbye to my car that I raised money and bought with my own money. Pizza dates with my sisters on Saturday nights, trips to the River market, movie nights, coffee dates, friends (you know who you are, and I miss ALL of you guys!)…familiarity. The list goes on and on.
Life on the Race is even harder. We spend the whole month in tight knit communities, building real, genuine relationships. We serve alongside each other and build close communities with the host families we adopt ourselves into for the month. And then at the end of the month, we have to say goodbye without really knowing if we’ll ever see each other again?
I think for our team, when we think of a true family that we gained, it was in Bolivia. We really went all in and got to know the people there. I’ve kinda been avoiding posting about how much I loved it there and can call so many there my family, cause I’m scared I won’t do it justice. A lot of the joy, family, and acceptance that I found in Bolivia was in meeting Evaline. She was kind of like a super mom. An amazing mama to her three boys, but she had so much love that it spilled out on others. Her boys were such a joy to play soccer and wrestle with. After missing my three sisters at home, it was such a treasure that God gave me three little brothers for the month. I loved every day I got to spend with her and her family and even went up on my free days. I balled my eyes out when I had to leave her.
From building such close communities, it almost seems cruel to leave them and naive to continue building them again and again on the Race. Why go all in when you may never see them again? Why open up? Why get close? I guess just cause it’s human. Hurting is human too and I think pain and hard times are just reminders of how human we are. Even Jesus couldn’t choose to only feel love, happiness, and acceptance from everyone. He opened up to being loved or hurt and hated. Accepted or rejected. But I’d rather feel hurt then feel nothing. When I think of family, I think of love, acceptance, community, and a sense of belonging. Humans have such a desire for all of these…probably because they’re not just desires…they’re human needs. So how did Jesus do it here on earth? How could Paul constantly be on the move, building relationships, being in prison, being vulnerable without ever seeing these people again?
Jesus was in constant communication with His Father. He had the strength to go wherever whenever because He knew that His home and His family were with His Father. And it’s the same with us. Gods adopted us into this family that can go anywhere. Having the bravery to say goodbye to my earthly family is accepting that my true love, acceptance, community, and belonging can only be found in my Heavenly one. Although Jesus always knew He would one day leave, I LOVE that He went all in and invested in everyone He met. I love that He experienced family with His disciples and that He chose to create even stronger friendships with Peter, James, and John. I imagine, they cried when they found out He would leave. I love that Jesus had the courage and vulnerability to say goodbye to them. He saw the bigger picture that God was His home and He would say hello to them again.
He set this example so we can also see the bigger picture. We open up, we get close, we show them Jesus, and say goodbye so that we can say hello to them and to our true father and true family one day.
He has called me higher,
Jenn
