(Written Sunday, July 29)
I wore flowers in my hair this morning. Hulda pinned a long strand of tiny white blossoms to my braid before church. It fell along the sides of my neck and came to rest on the front of my saree, and whenever I bowed my head to worship, I inhaled the sweetest aroma. During these moments I found myself speechless, unable to say anything other than “Thank You God! Thank You God! Thank You God for today!”
Lord You are so faithful!
Lord You are so faithful!
Lord You are so faithful!
The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for four decades. For the past few years I’ve been doing a lot of wondering of my own. Wondering what God was up to. Wondering what happened to the calling He had placed on my life. Wondering why things were happening the way they were. Wondering when or if I would reach the end of my life deserts and reach the land God had promised to me.
It’s so easy to make fun of the Israelites. God performs miracle after miracle for them. He parts seas, sends bread and meat and gives them water to drink. And then five minutes later they start to complain. Five minutes later they build an idol. Five minutes later they stop trusting the Great I AM.
Oh yes, it’s easy to make fun of the Israelites, until you realize you are one. During my desert years, God was so faithful. But His faithfulness didn’t always look like I thought it should. So five minutes later I complained, I doubted, I ran to idols (idols don’t always come in the shape of a golden calf. Sometimes they come in the shape of food, or entertainment, or your job, or whatever).
And yet, He does not treat me as I deserve. His grace absolutely overwhelms me.
There is a passage in Nehemiah where Ezra gets up and recounts Israel’s history. It goes something like this:
God blesses the people of Israel, they forget about Him, trials come, they cry out to God, God saves them.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
This goes on through several cycles, and each time, God is faithful to an unfaithful people. AKA me.
One translation uses the phrase “even after” when describing an instance of God saving His children. Even after their sin. Even after their unfaithfulness. Even after my sin. Even after my unfaithfulness. Even after your sin. Even after your unfaithfulness.
Sometimes God has us take a walk in the desert for a few years because He’s preparing us for something. And the desert is a good place to do that, because the heat might melt off some stuff you don’t need on you, mold you and change you a bit so that you’re ready for what’s waiting on the other side.
And let me tell you, that Promised Land, she is a beauty. Mine is looks like a green and red saree, a team that I’ve come to love, an Indian mom Hulda, Pastor Edison up front singing and preaching, worshiping with people who are on fire for the Lord, sitting on plastic chairs under a tarp roof, hearing the Word, listening you the voices around me sing with such joy even when I can’t understand, a peace that comes from knowing that this is what my heart was created for, and, and, and, so many other things that there are no words to express.
During church today I realized something.
If the whole point (or part of the point) of the desert was so that I would end up here, if I needed to walk through the desert to reach this place…
Then I would gladly wander and wonder through the wilderness for forty more years.
And forty years after that
And forty years after that
Because the promised land is coming, and it's worth it.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Oh God my Father!
