“I don’t know how to live with God.”
Words that I said several weeks ago to my Team Leader, Cami. The Holy Spirit uncovered that my relationship with God wasn’t one of dependency. He was my Sunday god; my Tuesday night bible study god. He wasn’t a ‘every breath relying on His mercy and goodness to persevere daily’ kind of god. But happy to report, that’s changing now.
Yesterday, my ministry was stacking wood with some of the guys to provide our host with fuel to keep his house warm in winter. I was placing the wood, and I thought, “How can I incorporate Jesus into this task?” A thought I never would have thought a month ago, and one I didn’t even see the significance of until now. So I asked my Papa to give me eyes to see which pieces of wood fit where. I asked Him to give me a good eye for the pieces, placing them like Tetris. He subtly just showed me, “that would fit there,” and “hey that’s a good place here.” I felt at peace, and calm, not worries about my pace or splinters or anything; just spending time with Papa.
We finished wood stacking early (because Danny broke the ax….oops) so we decided to walk around the house and pray for it. When we get called to pray over places, what I’ve been doing is focusing a word of prayer of a very specific piece of something. An example is in Craiova, we were interceding in front of this building with a cross walk on each side. So, I prayed “Jesus, whenever someone steps onto that curb, give them an unexplainable and unexpected peace. Give them comfort as soon as their foot hits the sidewalk.” That is what I now was practicing at the house.
I stood by the gate, and I prayed, “God, whoever walks through this door, grant them peace right away. Let all hurtful thoughts leave their mind; let this place be a sanctuary of you. Thank you for giving these things freely when we ask. Amen.” And I look up, and I laughed. Because right above the gate on the electrical line, sat a perfect little dove. Just chillin there. It still makes me smile. That just shows the little things God does for us to bring us hope; you just gotta look for them.
After that, I went upstairs to pray over the bedrooms. One way the Lord has been growing me in intimacy with Him is during devotionals. I’ve been asking Him to show me what scripture He wants me to read. And every morning, He has delivered. So walking into the couch area, I asked Him to reveal a verse to declare over that space. He said “Hebrews 3:13” so I said “okay.” Another thing is, I usually read the verse above and the verse after for context, and often times God shows the more “relevant” verses there. This time, it was verses 12-15, which are: “See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly to till the end the confidence we had at first. As has just been said, “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden you hearts as you did in the rebellion.”” So that’s what I declared over the room. “Let everyone who sits here grow softened hearts, as well to all others who come in this place.”
I continued this to every room. The first girls room where I’m staying: Hebrews 6:10-11, which is, “God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them. We want each of you to continue the same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure.”
The second girls room: Hebrews 6:19 “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.”
The guys room: Hebrews 6:20 “where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.”
The male leadership’s room: Hebrews 13:20 “Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings. It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace, not by ceremonial foods, which are of no value to those who eat them.”
The hallway: Hebrews 7:16 “one who has become a priest not on the basis of a regulation as to his ancestry but on the basis of the power of an indestructible life.”
And lastly, the extra room/maybe our hosts room (not 100% sure hah): Hebrews 7:18-19 “The former regulation is set aside because it was weak and useless (for the law made nothing perfect) and a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God.”
I told all these things that God had showed me to Cami, and she said, “Jenay. You are living with God. A month ago, you said you didn’t know how to do that.”
B O O M. Mind blown. In the course of a month the Holy Spirit was making changed in me. Changing the way I acted, perceived, and lived my everyday life. He was changing me from the inside out; and I didn’t even notice until he revealed it all at once.
How UNBELIEVABLY KIND is God. How generous He gives gifts of wisdom and discernment. How generously He gives everything away. The God I serve is a God who wants to know you up close and personal. He’s calling out the dark places into light. It’s stretching, growing, and sometimes uncomfortable, but WOW is it worth it. I know there is still lots to learn about living with God, but I live believing He holds my hands and goes before me; guiding my feet to the right path.
This month Jesus has grown in my intimacy, but I also has to put in the work. I read scripture every day; but not just flipping and reading random. I actually asked God to show me what He wanted to show me, not just checking off ‘read the bible’ on my to-do list. He took away the comforts of home, of the approval seeking nature I didn’t see I had. I also read this fantastic book that reminded me the absolute power of straight prayer and faithfulness. Breakthrough, by Joyce Smith; I recommend if you need that reminder too.
I serve a promise keeping God. A powerful and loving God. A truth revealing God. A “stick out the discomfort till you reap the fruit” kind of God. And I do not want it any other way.
Verse: (other than the ones mentioned in the blog) “May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” – Hebrews 13:20-21
Worship song: Here as in Heaven by Elevation Worship
