It’s Friday night, I am sitting in a dark kitchen with no power watching my squad mates chop veggies by headlamps. I’ve been trying to write this blog for weeks and it seems like I have more words in my head than I know what to do with. I sit down to type this and I can’t process my thoughts. So, I’m going to just start writing and in this blog I hope you can feel like your on a mountain in Mbabane, Swaziland with me.
The past three weeks have flown by faster than I could imagine, yet there are some days at the end of a long work day as I watch the sunset over the mountains that I feel like time is creeping by so slow. When we arrived at El Shaddai I had no idea the feeling that would come with this place.
I spend my days balancing between a tin roof top and a bucket of green paint and the sweet hugs that come from the baby house. After lunch I get to spend time with Life and she is worth waking up every morning for. We have gotten to venture out into the mountains near us and visit poor families some that are widowed and some that have no food. We get to bless them with a bucket of food and clothes and I have watched my squad leader, Alicia take the shoes off her feet and give them to a lady. My homestead visit group got to sing and worship with a family and pull out the joy we knew she had in her. Those times I see God so at work that my heart can’t help but be overtaken by happiness. There are some days that are full of insecurities and fatigue and other days are full of an over whelming feeling of love.
Our squad has dealt with spiritual warfare, sickness, and hard rains. I’ve never felt God’s presence so strong yet I have never felt the devil more at work. If I had to describe my time here at El Shaddai I would say the word this is a place of love that the enemy is afraid of.
Before this month I had never truly processed the word orphan. I have seen people who I love so much take in foster children and I have seen other loved ones adopt children, but I had never thought on what that word truly meant. Last week I watched a group of girls from this orphanage stand up in Chapel and sing, “there are no strangers, there are no outcasts, there are no orphans of God” with the most beautiful voices I have ever heard, and then in this same week I watched a squad mate I love dearly get baptized in a kiddie pool behind our kitchen. God is showing me every day no matter what our earthly situation is, when we rise up out of the baptism waters a new creation, there is no such thing as an orphan. He is our Father and He is orchestrating every moment of our lives.
A verse in Phillipians 2:3, Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. has stuck out to me since being here. Every night at 5:30 we leave chapel and we walk back to our kitchen and prepare meals that are delicious and remind us of home. We have found comfort in those meals. As we are eating tacos or chili our kids are eating rice and corn meal. We decided as a squad to give up our last Friday night meal here in Swaziland and we made chili for all the workers and children here. We gave our kids outfits we had picked out from donated clothes piles and we got to spend what would be our dinner time, denying ourselves to bring joy to this place. We continued on to worship and the 5th grade kids and up joined us. Some of the most precious times on this mountain have been our squad worship nights. Although, there is nothing like standing in a circle holding hands with 39 of your squad mates and a hand full of teenage girls and boys from the orphanage singing, “break the chains” as loud as you can to confirm that Christ is surrounded this place.
It saddens me to think about leaving here, I love it here. I love being surrounded by children who have experienced more hurt in their short lives than I could ever imagine and yet they have the tightest hugs and biggest smiles. I love worshiping with an alumni racer who answered God’s call to come back to Swaziland. Most importantly I love being at the top of a mountain where God’s presence is undeniable and knowing I am here because He choose me to be here. I’m leaving Swaziland with so much love in my heart that i know it can’t help but overflow in the next Country I enter. I am leaving El Shaddai with more than a Chaco tan, I am leaving here with a new love for my Father who created every beautiful child that taught me so much about what being a daughter to the most high looks like.
How beautiful on the mountain are the feet of those who bring good news.
