My whole life I have had one constant goal, I will not end up in Hickman, Kentucky. I don’t care where I end up but I will not end up there.
Hahahahahahaha
I am 23 and guess where I have always ended up when things didn’t go right, things DID go right, I graduated, or just needed to get away from everything else? Yep, you guessed it, Hickman, Kentucky. It’s where I grew up and lived my whole life till I graduated high school. It’s a small town in Western Kentucky that sits right on the Mississippi river and has no stop lights. You won’t find a Wal Mart or a Mcdonalds and there is no such thing as a 70 mph speed limit anywhere in this town. You will find a handful of churches,, the best pizza place that can only be found there, a grocery store that closes at 8, and a town full of people that all know you by name.
When I graduated high school I signed up for college and knew it was my ticket out of that place. I knew I was never coming back. College turned out to be a 2 year adventure that led me to Nashville to beauty school and I just knew for sure I would be there forever. I graduated beauty school made a few mistakes and ended up right back in little ol Hickman. At this point I was starting to see the beauty this place held, it was home. I knew God was calling me into missions at this point but I wasn’t sure what or where. When I left for the Dominican Republic in October 2012 I just knew God was going to keep me there. He didn’t but He didn’t close that door either.
When I first signed up the World Race I knew for sure I was called to be overseas and Hickman would just be a sweet story in my life. In between my time in Nashville and leaving for the World Race God did some deep cleaning in my life. He got rid of some junk and started transforming me and who I was. With that I had to let go of some lies, get rid of some friends, and let go of some worldly desires I was holding on to. I felt pretty empty and a little lost but I never lost sight of Him and what He was doing.
Out of no where God answered every prayer I had ever prayed and it took me being clear across the world to see it. I had prayed for parents, for someone to love me and care for me like parents do their children. I prayed to feel like I was apart of someone’s family fully. I prayed for God to help me truly be myself and not have to hide behind lies and I prayed for God to show me His plan for my life. God sent me a friend that at the time I never guessed would be as important to me as she is now. He gave me a friend who came into my life full of questions and love. She stood by me and trusted me through some of the darkest moments of my life. When I made mistakes she would tell me I was still perfect through those things. When the world told her to not love me she turned around and loved me harder. She showed me the love of Christ in ways I had never seen before. She invited me into her home and more importantly she invited me into her and her family’s life. She started telling me earlier on she wasn’t going anywhere she was in my life to stat and that has become so apparent with each day and each country I get further away from her.
Almost 2 years of friendship and God is finally showing me He sent her to love me like a mother would love me, He sent her husband to show me what a positive father role looks like, and He sent her kids to love me like I was their older sister. Not only did He send her family to be my family and her and her husband to be my parents He sent her to help me work through the lies I had been hiding behind and to be a woman of God, a women of integrity. Most importantly He sent her to show me when He has a plan for our lives no matter if it lines up with ours or not we won’t live a typical life. I never guessed that the prayers I have spent my whole life praying for would be answered in one beautiful friendship.
First month on my race God gave me a vision for Hickman, a vision that included me. Needless to say I was not about to embrace that vision, I want to be overseas, I want to love on orphans and live in small shacks where I have hardly any power. Then God said, “what if Hickman is your mission field too?” I kept thinking how can that be. I wont experience there what I am experiencing here, I won’t have any stories about what God is doing. I pushed this conversation to the back of my mind and figured I would think on it again when it came to the end of my race. He doesn’t operate that way. He has brought this conversation back up more than 5 times since South Africa.
This is where my beautiful friend comes back in. God has made it a constant theme in using her even when she isn’t around to speak to me. He kept bringing parts of her life to my mind. Ways she was always on the mission field and yet she is always in Hickman. She is one of those behind the scenes missionaries the ones who do all the great stuff but never take the credit. The ones who never voice all the great stuff they do. In the time of our friendship I was with her and her family almost everyday. I had a lot of time to observe her and watch her do things no one else got to see her do. I guess that is a cool thing about being a part of someones family. I watched her love me when all of the world was telling her not to. I got to watch her do things for people in our church and never telling a soul about it. I watched her and her husband give to people so generously. I have watched her raise her kids to love Jesus and love people and to give that love away. I could probably keep going but if I tell all her stories than they won’t all be secrets anymore. Her favorite line to say to me is, “I am boring. I live a boring life.” To the world yeah she is probably right, she probably is boring, to God and to me that is a complete lie. She is some one who is not okay with being typical even though she thinks she is. She uses everyday to glorify our Father, she uses her job, her family, her relationships, and her everyday walk as her mission field. She is on board with whatever God is doing and she is faithful to Him through every single thing that is thrown at her.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is God sent me Stephanie, Chad, sweet Chade, and sassy Taylor to show me I am not the girl who doesn’t belong to anyone, the girl who dropped out of college, the girl who partied to much, the girl who got arrested, I am not the girl that lied to make her look better, I am not the typical girl the world thought I would be. I am a girl who loves Jesus with my whole heart, that is learning from my mistakes and using them in my story to help others, I am a girl who can relate to people who party and went to jail because my Father delivered me from that, and I am that girl who belongs to a heavenly Father that loves me so deeply, and I am girl that belongs to a family that although I am not blood love me just like I am because they love me like Christ loves them.
God has gave me a huge heart for missions. Rather that is overseas for the rest of my life of living out the vision He gave me for Hickman. I just know that He gave me this friendship, this family to show me what not being typical looks like. We, yes I’ll say we because I am apart of their family try not to do things the way they are usually done. We are not loving Jesus in the way the world tells us to do it. We are doing life together for Him and doing missions in the way God wants us to do it not the typical way!
