If there was a mold for a wallflower, I nearly fit it like a glove when I was younger. The only reason I didn't fit it perfectly is because I didn't even go to dances and stand near the wall like the old poem suggests. But I did fit in regards to being that person who was never picked, not noticed and sometimes not invited to my own friend's parties because they forgot about me.
There is no greater proof of me being a true wallflower than my senior year book. My inability to be noticed was clearly written on the pages with my face pictured but my sister's name written beneath as the caption. She had graduated two years prior to that. And then again when I was mentioned as the salutatorian. I was the valedictorian. There is no bitterness that I carry. I actually find it pretty funny now.
I never expected that this year would bring so many things that it did. And it's been years since I have lived the "invisible" life that I did once before. One of the things that was very unexpected was how much art would be a part of this year. And never would I guess that 17 years after I left my role as a wallflower and leaving art entirely in high school that I would pick it up because I fell in love with a little boy in Cambodia and learn to use art as a way to praise God and pray for others around the world.
I've mentioned before that in my community at home I've always been surrounded by great artists – my mother, sister, uncle, grandpa, roommate and multiple friends from church and work. I saw their ability and always saw my inability.
Part of my time this month was painting plaques that would go on the doors of the community home we had been working to finish in Ukraine. The home is going to be a haven for Jews moving to Israel. And I signed up for the request of an artist from the Blessing family. I painted the names of the twelve tribes of Israel in Ukrainian in a Hebrew font with the tribe's symbol.
I've spent much of this month trying to learn more about Jewish culture, the nation and history. It was very fitting that I was able to take a day off to visit Auschwitz concentration camp in Krakow, Poland, the largest concentration camp during World War 2.
"In this world you will have trouble." John 16:33. Auschwitz makes that word, trouble change my thinking of how much that it might actually mean. Faith shaking trouble is what we are talking about. The kind of trouble that makes you question if you believe if there even is a God.
After reading many horror stories of the Holocaust this month, I often see my inability. My inability to do any good, my inability to make a difference, by inability to find hope, my inability to see purpose or a plan, my inability to understand the injustice of human nature.
But like I focused so much on my inability to paint something of beauty and worth, I again see my inability to put it all together. The rulers, judges and powers who do so much evil. Enemies found even in one's own household. The injustice. The hate. The evil.
But then the hope comes when I recognize God's great ability. His ability to show mercy, have compassion and love. His goodness.
And Jesus's great ability to plead our case.
Under the New Covenant, those who know Christ don't receive punishment from the Lord. Instead, Christ bore that punishment for you. Looking ahead to Christ, Isaiah 53 says
"But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed."
The millions of invisible deaths at concentration camps in Europe leave me unable to even comprehend the right questions. But each individual death never went unnoticed. Because His ability is so much greater than my understanding.
But I know there is a right question I haven't asked.
Do I pray for the Jewish people today? Do I pray that they would know His great ability to show mercy, His great love for all, His ability to give justice?
no
I feel ashamed when I write that word down. There is still much work to be done and many who don't know about Jesus's great ability. So in much respect and prayer, God gave me His great ability to paint for the Jewish nation and to bless them in this way.
Micah 7
Israel’s Misery
7 What misery is mine!
I am like one who gathers summer fruit
at the gleaning of the vineyard;
there is no cluster of grapes to eat,
none of the early figs that I crave.
2 The faithful have been swept from the land;
not one upright person remains.
Everyone lies in wait to shed blood;
they hunt each other with nets.
3 Both hands are skilled in doing evil;
the ruler demands gifts,
the judge accepts bribes,
the powerful dictate what they desire—
they all conspire together.
4 The best of them is like a brier,
the most upright worse than a thorn hedge.
The day God visits you has come,
the day your watchmen sound the alarm.
Now is the time of your confusion.
5 Do not trust a neighbor;
put no confidence in a friend.
Even with the woman who lies in your embrace
guard the words of your lips.
6 For a son dishonors his father,
a daughter rises up against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
a man’s enemies are the members of his own household.
7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord,
I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me.
Israel Will Rise
8 Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be my light.
9 Because I have sinned against him,
I will bear the Lord’s wrath,
until he pleads my case
and upholds my cause.
He will bring me out into the light;
I will see his righteousness.
10 Then my enemy will see it
and will be covered with shame,
she who said to me,
“Where is the Lord your God?”
My eyes will see her downfall;
even now she will be trampled underfoot
like mire in the streets.
11 The day for building your walls will come,
the day for extending your boundaries.
12 In that day people will come to you
from Assyria and the cities of Egypt,
even from Egypt to the Euphrates
and from sea to sea
and from mountain to mountain.
13 The earth will become desolate because of its inhabitants,
as the result of their deeds.
Prayer and Praise
14 Shepherd your people with your staff,
the flock of your inheritance,
which lives by itself in a forest,
in fertile pasturelands.[a]
Let them feed in Bashan and Gilead
as in days long ago.
15 “As in the days when you came out of Egypt,
I will show them my wonders.”
16 Nations will see and be ashamed,
deprived of all their power.
They will put their hands over their mouths
and their ears will become deaf.
17 They will lick dust like a snake,
like creatures that crawl on the ground.
They will come trembling out of their dens;
they will turn in fear to the Lord our God
and will be afraid of you.
18 Who is a God like you,
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.
19 You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
20 You will be faithful to Jacob,
and show love to Abraham,
as you pledged on oath to our ancestors
in days long ago.
