I've always been afraid to stand up for what I believe in. I don't like to bring attention to myself and I've always been a people pleaser even at great cost.
I was watching Jane Austen's, Emma the other day and my absolute favorite Austen character, Mr. Knightly, was once again scolding and correcting the careless Emma on her ill thought behavior. He doesn't do it because he can't stand her. In fact, he loves her so dearly, he calls out behaviors to help her to grow out of his great love for her. When he does scold her, if brings him great pain and sorrow to have to do so. But because he loves her, he does it.
Emma cries sorrowfully over the matter and learns to sit in her shame for the moments. It's important for her to feel the blow of her poor behavior to know how to grow and experience real change that urges her to love more.
I think Emma responds well to his reparations because she can feel the heart of the correction. She knows it isn't about who is better or more kind or more gentle than the other.
For the past 4 months I have been learning both sides of this spectrum. Each night our team comes together to give each an opportunity to give healthy feedback about our behaviors and it is motivated by love. Sometimes I'm on the receiving end. I get to experience the sorrow of my ill thought out behaviors and how I impact others when I do so. I'm learning how to be thankful for these painful moments.
And then sometimes I have to do what seems unthinkable for me. I have to give loving correction to those I want very desperately to like me. But how will they like me if I tell them about the things I see that are opportunities in their lives? The problem with that attitude is that I have just made something that is motivated by love turn into vanity and selfishness. I made it about me.
Some days it feels very painful to give such feedback. But that pain is backed by love. And one doesn't doubt, but hope that such painful love can grow relationship between friends just as Mr. Knightly suggests.
2 TImothy 3:16
All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.
