This morning in Japan was a morning of firsts.
1. My teammate, Lindsey spoke her first sermon at church this morning in Nishinomiya, Japan. It was a great time to see her truly grow into the gifts God was asking her to pursue.
2. Our friend Kaara, who had helped us find our way to the bus station when we were lost came to church for the first time today and now wants to know more about Jesus. FYI – Never worry about getting lost in Japan. We had several people actually take us and walk us to our destination when we were lost. When I say several, I mean at least 7 or 8 in the month.
3. I played piano for worship at church this morning.
I have been delighted that God has given me the opportunity to be free from distractions I let pour into my life back home, distractions that have kept me from doing a few things I have not pursued in easily 18 years. One is art, which God put a fire in my heart for my last night of Cambodia and in turn prepared me to do my first mural in Malaysia.
The next surprise was music. I brought a ukulele with me just so I could play around with it and maybe get really good or something like that while I was gone. It's been entertaining. I have never really had the knack for string instruments and I still don't know if I do.
But this month we lived in a parsonage right next to a church. There was a grand piano in the sanctuary and of course I couldn't help but open the lid the first night and try to play some songs I used to play at home where I was classically trained.
I couldn't remember them well, so I did the thing I always refused to try – play by ear. But I couldn't let this grand piano go to waste on me. I must do it. There it was and there I was with hours to waste until our contact meets with us. Something happened in me that I didn't know I had all along. I had always been so afraid my whole life of not having the notes written for me to see. How can I just make it up on my own? Who will tell me what to do? How will I know?
I began to play a song, "Great is Thy Faithfulness," by Sara Groves. And the melodies came as I sang alone in the chapel.
For the whole month, I found myself sneaking away to find time to sing in God's presence and practice His song in my heart. I didn't know how to do it, so I let Him show me.
So many times we are hung up on the, 'how can I's' of life, when really all it takes is a bit of trust and understanding that it was never about us in the first place.
There is a blind woman at our church who is a professional musician. I had enjoyed watching her not be bound up by notes on a page, but instead trusting her hands, ears and heart guide the gifts God had already given her. She reminds me that I don't have to be confined to a set of rules. There is freedom in the gifts God gives us.
She also reminds me that I have always been a people pleaser and with that has brought much confinement to my life. I follow the set of rules I think everyone is expecting of me. And if I don't think I can follow the rules fully to receive praise from man, then I just won't pursue those gifts. Sadly, I have missed out on freedom the Holy Spirit wants me to experience in the gifts He gives and how those gifts are in the end meant to bring praise solely to God.
And so for the first time in my life, I broke my own mold of trying to please people. I always feared playing piano for an audience because if I missed a note, I would bring shame on myself.
So I threw away the pages and notes, and this time I played for an audience of One.
Colossians 3:23
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” (NIV)
