July 24th, 2015. For the last 11 months this day has been slowly getting closer and closer. The last day of my World Race. There were days when I felt like it couldn’t get here soon enough, and then there were days that I just wanted time to stand still; today’s one of those days.
11 countries, 11 months. Endless adventures, countless laughs, frustrations and struggles, new friendships across the entire globe, heartbreaks and hurts, emptiness and complete fulfillment, and at the end of it all, a full heart, scattered across so many places and so many lives, but held completely together in Him.
“Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless.” Ecclesiastes 1:1. This year, people have given me words from Ecclesiastes or recommended I read Ecclesiastes countless times. A friend even gave me a meditation on it to listen to (thanks Court!!!) At first glance, reading through Ecclesiastes can seem disheartening. The Kohelet, or teacher, who wrote the book of Ecclesiastes is on a journey to find the meaning of life. He spends his days searching for what brings satisfaction to our days, what brings joy, and what the purpose of life is for us who live under the Sun. Wisdom, pleasure, toil, advancement? All the earthly things we strive for: fame, recognition, money, fun, travel, a great job, to love and be loved. And what he found was, all of these things are “vapor”, dust. The dust returns to the ground it came from…” (Ecclesiastes 11:12) That’s us, the dust. It’s everything we work for, everything and everyone we love, everything we’ve built and accomplished, all our dreams all of our desires. They are all going to the dust.
So what does that mean for us? For our lives? Where do we go from here? If everything is going back to the ground, what’s the point?
“God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into him the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” (Genesis 2:7) And as the dust returns to the ground it came from, so the breath returns to the God who gave it. (Ecclesiastes 12:7)
And there it is. That’s where I found my purpose, my meaning, this year. In the breath of God that is in me, that he gave me. That’s the only thing that is going to last. It’s in him that I move and breath and have my being. Apart from him everything is dust. This year, all the travels, people, and work that was accomplished is nothing apart from him. Meaningless. But because he was in every second of it, it holds eternal value. And the Kohelet, what did he find? After all of his searching and striving for meaning? The conclusion of all of it? “Be in absolute awe of God, and follow Him” (Ecclesiastes 12:13).
“In awe” is exactly where I’m standing today. “Follow Him” what other option is there?
Father, you’ve brought me completely around this spec of dust you created so perfectly, so intricately, so beautifully, for us. I’ve watched your sun rise and set over countless landscapes, stared up at your beautiful sky full of billions of stars, and held the hands of so many of the people you’ve created. I’ve sweat, bled, and cried, laughed, sang, and danced. I’ve been confused, lost, and mad at you. I’ve watched you work and found you in even the darkest of places. We’ve come full circle, and yeah God, you’re good. And I’m walking away from this year and into the next season full of hope. I’ve learned your ways are not my ways, they’re better, they’re higher, they are fuller. So I set my heart not on the things of the earth, not on the dust. But fully and completely on you.
