“I tell you her sins-and they are many-have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.”
Luke 7:47
There I was weeping, ashamed of my past, branded and broken. Training Camp was way more than just a push out of my comfort zone. Training camp broke me, all over again!
First I was overwhelmed with love, so much love I could drown in it. I have never seen a body of believers so in love with Christ and so in love with serving each other. Sometimes I just stood there, teary eyed filled with joy in disbelief of the sacrifices my brothers and sisters made. It was day two when one of my brothers humbly gave me his big comfy hammock to sleep in while he shivered and was restless all night.
We shared meals, and sometimes food wasn’t much but we still gave even if that meant going to bed hungry. Acts 2 came to mind as I was looking around, seeing the body of Christ united as one.
” They worshipped together in the temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s supper and shared their meals with great joy and generosity. “
Acts 2:46
This was what I was missing at church for so long. The family love, disciples of Christ united for the same cause, giving up their own desires to follow Christ. This wasn’t church, this was True Love! They love because He first loved us.
I tried to process the days at Training camp as I was confronted with junk I thought I left behind a long time ago. It doesn’t feel like cloud nine if you gotta confront your darkest secrets again only to find out that you are still not quite over it. So you surrender over and over again! Until you break and then there it is again- LOVE. Love from your Father who tells you that you are enough! Love from a sister who comforts you with the sweetest hug you have ever felt. Love from a coach whose words are healing your sore wounds. Love that does drown every fear.
Confronting my insecurities and past body image issues brought light to many sisters. Sharing the brokenness of my own self worth in front of hundreds of women was not necessarily in my plans. But the relief and similar stories I shared with many of my beloved girls made it all worth it. And the Glory was all His.
Training Camp was the beginning of a life long journey to fully and completely saturate myself with Jesus. To find intimacy with Him. To fall crazy in love with Him every day. And to find my worth in Him. To know and believe that I am worthy, loved, enough and that nothing I can do or say will ever change that!
Love
Jen
