Today at church I mutilated an offering envelope to write this down: "God is an emotional God. He created us with emotions for a reason. He wants to relate to us [me] on an emotional level. I resist this because I've learned to distrust emotions. While being logical isn't necessarily bad, ignoring the emotional aspect of my person and my relationship with God will only hurt me."
For anyone who doesn't know me very well, I'm extremely logical and resist emotions (I really do NOT like crying…ever). I recognize the validity of emotions (and even the importance of shedding tears), but still I resist emotional/sentimental situations. This overflows into my spiritual life… I go to a Christian college and am thus required to go to chapel three times a week. We have some awesome chapel teams and often the music that is played/songs we sing can be very moving emotionally, and many students, as far as I can tell, feel closer to God during these times. This isn't the case so much for me; instead I felt closer to God watching waterfalls at Tallulah Gorge contemplating fluid dynamics than singing in chapel. [Yes, God can speak through fluid dynamics, and yes, I am a nerd and think about physics for fun]
It's okay for me to be logical, and it's okay to not be prone to emotional highs and lows. However, it is NOT okay to allow myself to ignore or disregard the emotional aspect of my being. God is an emotional God. He is jealous, and experiences delight and anger. Jesus wept, was angry enough to clear out the temple [Twice! See John 2 and Matthew 21] and was stressed enough to sweat blood the night before His crucifixion. We can grieve the Holy Spirit. He created us to be emotional beings so we could relate to Him on an emotional level. When we fell we fell completely, and restoration is for the entirety of our being. If I try to leave my emotions behind then I'm holding myself back from God. He wants to heal the emotional part of my person and cleanse it from sin. He wants to restore all of me completely, but I need to let Him do His work.
I must say that this emotional disregard is a potential problem for me as I prepare to graduate, and it will be a more distinct concern when I don't have my close friends around me. I don't open up easily to people, especially about my emotions, so being surrounded by new people and knowing I will be facing a lot spiritually and emotionally is a potential source of anxiety. Somehow I'm currently quite calm about all of this, and I'm confident that R squad will have just the people I need to sort through all of this, because God is quite good at setting these things up perfectly in nuanced ways.
