Amazing. Breath taking. Painful. Fears. Insecurities. Love. Community. Peace. Trust. Freedom. These are just some of the words that come to mind when I think of my experience at Training Camp.
I have never been this in love with Jesus. My fears, doubts and insecurities never allowed me to surrender my heart fully to our God. But this week He did a mighty thing!
It has been an insane roller coaster of emotions. I walked in masking my fears and insecurities with a “Colgate Smile”. But God had something planned. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11. God faithful to what He says. I am so in love with my God. He has broken so many chains that had crippled me for years. Seven years to be exact. God whispered, spoke and then yelled into my ear “You are worthy! You are beautiful! You are loved always and forever by the most high King! Nothing you do will ever make me stop loving you!”
I encountered so much freedom this week. I went from being completely broken and what I thought was “unfixable” to something of beauty and purpose. I can honestly say that the Lord broke the chains that had been hindering me for years. They are gone and these huge weight has been lifted. But this week was not easy. It was hard to surrender the lies that had been sewn into my heart so long ago. Every time I surrendered a lie, the enemy would fire another one right back at me. It was a battle in the “beautiful war” the Lord has been fighting for me.
**By the way, the band who was doing worship for us has a album out called the Beautiful War. They were selling T-shirts that said that and for some reason God spoke to me saying He has been fighting a beautiful war for ME! I really wanted one of these T-shirts but I really didn’t have the money. I have been trying to save every penny just to be able to make my rent thats due. Well I prayed about it and I decided that this really meant something to me. On the last night the band was there I unfortunately forgot my wallet. After the service I asked Carl, the lead singer if I could some how pay him in quarters (that was all I had). When I showed him the bag, he told me to keep my quarters and he just gave me the shirt. He said I needed the quarters more than He did. I walked away knowing this was a gift from Jesus straight to me.**
God spoke so much truth into my heart this week. And for the first time, I was able to hear and believe it. I am so excited to see what the Lord has planned for me on this World Race.
