Sitting here in the Dallas airport on my way to Atlanta for training camp! I am so excited to meet these people who I have been conversing with for months now! I have no idea what to expect from Training camp.
So… you may want to know this awesome story as to how I got to be where I am right now- the airport. Well it started with God and him blessing me with amazing fellowship. The whole month of June was probably one of the hardest months of my life. I don’t think I have ever been through that much in such a short time. It was the beginning of a heart transformation. Actually more like a heart transplant. My heart was broken. I thought, broken past the point of repair. But thats where it needed to be. God didn’t and doesn’t want me to go through pain. Ever. But He does allow things to happen for a reason. He knows I struggle with so many insecurities. My self worth, my value in the eyes of humanity. The struggle internally to “fit in” and to be “loved”. He brought me to this dark place. But He held me the entire time. He never let go of my hand, and at times he flat out bear hugged me. In this dark place I started to learn to trust HIM. I started to feel my worth in His eyes. Im not even about to say I am healed from all my insecurities, but He is definitely doing a work in me. And for the first time- I am letting Him. I realized that He is THE ONLY ONE who will never hurt me, never leave me, never betray me. He WILL protect me. Its a great feeling that I am still trying to comprehend. He has me right where he wants me to really prepare me for the future plans he has for me. Thats a great feeling!
Now back to how I made it to the airport. Well I was pretty far behind in my funds. That month really threw me for a loop and left my mind spinning. So come the end of June I really had to step it up. It was hard for me- with everything my heart was going through I didn’t really feel like getting out of bed, yet alone trying to raise money for the race. The lovely girls from my bible study helped me put together a Masquerade Ball. Which was a fantastic idea. And let me tell you- planning anything to that extent is not my forte. Ask any of the girls- they’ll tell you! haha But you know what, God covered me in grace and really showed me how much I can trust HIM. It was astounding, to stay the least. On Friday June 29th I was still behind by about $1400. Keep in mind the deadline was Saturday June 30th. God provided so much, not only did he make the Masquerade Ball a huge success (even when I had doubts) he provided $900 from it. That amazes me! But thats not it.. Not only did he provide that- but the money just kept coming in. Coming in from places I would have never expected, from people who didn’t even have money to give. (That alone just makes me speechless.) Thats how God works. He blesses us so we can bless others and so on.
So basically God showed me a lot! Its crazy! So every time I get stressed about money and my next deadline or the fact that I spent my rent money on supplies needed for training camp- (Yep, I did that.. I know, I know) I will remember how God provided $1400 for me in 36 hours. We serve an amazing God. He wants to love on us, He wants to provide for us. We just need to let him into our hearts! WOW God is SO STINKING GOOD! 😀
Thank you all for your prayers and support! Please keep me and my squad mates in your prayers for the following week as we begin training! 🙂
Love, Jen <3
