Ever since I made the decision to be faithful to God and give up everything with that sort of reckless abandonment that some people view as certifiably crazy, I have been asking God to help me dig deep. Dig deep to reveal my issues. I want to begin the process of inner change so I can fully focus of what God has called me to do.
For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with personal relationships. I’ve had issues with family relationships, friendships, and even relationships with my coworkers. Most of the time, I need it to be about me. Let’s do things my way! I know best! You know that sort of thing. My friend Jay has tried to tell me for years, “Jeff, get yourself out of the way and you will be successful.” I tried to understand what he was saying but I could never seem to put the pieces together. In fact, instead of trying to apply what he was saying, I just became bitter and angry.
Another character flaw of mine is constantly being negative! Those who know me best will tell you that me being negative is more the norm than the exception. When I look at a situation, I first point out the negatives. It’s just easier that way, right? It’s just where I feel comfortable, in the negative place rather than the positive.
Look at what Jesus says in Matthew chapter 17.
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move ” Matthew 17:20 (emphasis mine)
Jesus was not suggesting that you and I go around trying to move mountians just to prove that we have faith. What Jesus was trying to teach his disciples — and what he wants you and me to learn — is that it doesn't take a great faith to produce great results. Why? Because the results don't depend on us, they depend on God.
Let’s take a look at it from the other side.
When we talk about positive things we often say something like, a little goes a long way; a smile, a hug, an encouraging word. Let’s ask ourselves, does just a tiny bit of selfishness, bitterness, anger, or negativity also go a long way?
God is bringing me to the season in my life where I want to throw that crap away. I don’t want to be known as someone is filled with negativity and bitterness. He is changing my heart and my attitude and showing me that even the tiniest bit of negativity or anger can be extremely destructive! I never put much thought into how my attitude and actions affected those who I cared about the most, and for that I am sorry!
He is making me NEW!
