Rejection: The act of throwing away, the act of casting off or forsaking, refusal to accept or grant.
Let’s face it we have all had the unpleasant and painful experience of being rejected. Trust me, you are not alone! It is something that has been a common theme in my life and I have unknowingly operated out of a spirit of rejection for years. Recently, the Lord brought it all to the surface and highlighted the ways in which I placed my identity in everything but Him and what he says about me.
Where there is conditional, performance based, approval- seeking love, there will inevitably be rejection. All of us, if we are honest, have rejected others and have been rejected by others. None of us have entirely clean hands, and we justify our own rejecting behaviors while harshly condemning the rejection done by others. Even the perfect person, Jesus Christ, experienced lots of rejection at many points and deserved none of it. Which tells us that rejection is an unavoidable part of our fallen world and will raise its ugly head in our lives sooner or later.
The feeling of rejection can come in many forms, some of which may not even be tangible. There is rejection that comes from others; our parents, sibling, friends and even people in the community. As if this were not painful enough, we also tend to experience damaging rejection from ourselves; feeling that you are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or strong enough. Then there is the most ridiculous type of rejection, perceived rejection. When someone does not agree with you or is not talking to you. This is all subjective and you lying awake at night (I’ve been there) trying to figure our what you did wrong without ever addressing the situation is just ludicrous. As I can attest, rejection creates deep emotional wounds that if left unresolved, fester and grow into deep spiritual wounds of forgiveness, envy, jealously, and even blaming God.
“As they danced, they sang:
“Saul has slain his thousands,? and David his tens of thousands.”
Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” And from that time on Saul kept a close eye on David.
The next day an evil spirit from God came forcefully on Saul. He was prophesying in his house, while David was playing the lyre, as he usually did. Saul had a spear in his hand and he hurled it, saying to himself, “I’ll pin David to the wall.” But David eluded him twice.” 1 Samuel 18:7-11
The feeling of rejection of Saul was a product of the women praising David’s victories more than Saul’s. Feelings of rejection turned into jealously and Saul attempted to murder David and ultimately to Saul’s suicide. The goal of enemy is to get us built up with emotional baggage. He desires for us to be filled with negative thoughts about ourselves, others and even God.
Rebellion, false personalities, rejection of others, self pity, constantly seeking approval from others are all fruits that come from operating out of a spirit of rejection. Rejection is not the sin but the way we choose to react is what causes the sin. Just like Saul when you allow bitterness, anger, or jealously to creep in, you open yourself up to a path of self-destruction.
Even Jesus Christ felt rejected. The very people he came to save and even his own father rejected him. While hanging on the cross, Jesus Cried out, “My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?” Jesus experienced this pain and rejection so that we wouldn’t have to. His blood was shed so that we would be fee from the pain of rejection.
Why does rejection wound us so deeply? It attacks the very person we are and our purpose in life while destroying our self-esteem. God never intended for us to feel rejected. He desires for us to know who we truly are and realize how deeply God loves, appreciates, and accepts us so we can live out the fullness of who God created us to be.
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephsians 3:17-19
Rejection has a way of destroying a person’s life in a way that few others can.
But what is the root of it?
