OK… I would love to have seen your face when you read that title.
But you read it correctly – I’m not going anymore… and I’m not sorry!
Ok I have to stop now because at this point I’m sure about 20 of you already logged on to stop your recurring financial gifts. I AM still going on the World Race. But God had something else planned all along that was a bit different than I expected.
About a couple weeks ago I got an email from my mobilizer that said 20 of us had to switch routes because our squad was too large. At first glance, I thought, “There’s no way I would switch now – it’s too late even if I wanted to.” But then I took a look at the other route options and one in particular stood out to me. No – one in particular gripped my heart – the all-Spanish route. I couldn’t let it go. For the next two days it would be all I would think about and be praying about. My spirit was stirring and it was His Spirit that was holding the stirrer.
If you know me well, you know that my heart and passion has always been for Latin American countries. With every visit in the past and every ministry I’ve been a part of I always felt so drawn to these areas and have had a love for the people that I just can’t describe compared to anywhere I’ve been. So naturally, when I saw the all-Spanish route it’s understandable why I was so moved in my heart. Why didn’t I sign up for it before? I remember months after I signed up I told my sister that I would love to go on the all-Spanish route. She told me to go. But I didn’t. I thought that I would go to places like Ireland, Vietnam – places I wouldn’t normally go on a short-term missions trip. My plan was to come back after my World Race and then explore the possibilities of God’s calling on my life to Latin America. But that was my plan.
I felt without a doubt God was calling me out – His way or mine. I was looking forward to seeing Keri in Thailand when both of our squads would be serving there together. I was looking forward to seeing Ireland and parts of Africa. I couldn’t change everything. I just couldn’t. What would Keri think? I can’t even bounce these ideas off of her – she’s in Panama. Why now God? Why two weeks before training camp? Why do I have to leave a group of people that I grew so close to? Why do I…
That’s when I stopped.
His way… or mine. I’ve been in this position before – this same exact position. I chose my way then I wasn’t about to make that same mistake. I began to really get alone with God and then slowly bounce the idea off of some wise counsel of friends and family. God was most certainly confirming that this was indeed something He was calling me to do.
I was praying that God would somehow let Keri know this is what He was calling me to do since we couldn’t talk. Naturally, what she thinks about decisions I am making means a lot to me. “God, I know you have the power to make this known to her or somehow put us on the same page since we’re miles apart.” What I realized is that even though we were miles apart, we have never been more on the same page than we are now. This is part of the email that I received shortly after that prayer from Keri:
Don’t ever feel like you can’t come to me for a little push. Just like in your vision I will push you:) I want nothing more than to be a walking light and love all for Jesus. He’s calling you into something you can’t even imagine. So let go of all expectations as you get ready for training camp and launch. Get ready to let God break walls down that you didn’t even realize you had there… get ready to meet Him face to face.
In writing that email, she had no idea the momentous decision that I was faced with here in the States and how much her words would encourage me to follow God in that decision. But God knew. He timed that perfectly – an answer to prayer.
This is the route He wired me fore years ago. This is the route He is going to use to plant me into ministries that he has been creating me for. So I did it. I switched. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is my new route:
El Salvador
Guatemala
Honduras
Nicaragua
Costa Rica
Panama
Colombia
Ecuador
Peru
Bolivia
Chile
I don’t know why He called me to change my route now. Could it be He was calling me to choose that route all along and just has had enough grace with me to wait until I would finally make that decision? Could it be he specifically wanted me to be faced with this decision right at this moment and not back in February when I signed up for The World Race? I could speculate for days but all I know is that this is the next step in my journey. God has made it clear. And I’m following Him.
He’s in control and setting the stage for this next season. I have an amazing, supportive, Godly woman by my side that encourages me to follow Jesus with reckless abandon (who’s words when she found out about this decision were, and I quote, “GO GO GO!!”). Not only that but Keri, my friends and family know God intimately and affirm this is His leading. I have a peace and a passion and a fire about this change that I haven’t had with my previous route.
“He can at any moment choose to totally interrupt you whenever He feels like it. You should welcome the interruptions.”
It’s in these moments that verses like this make more sense than they ever have: “We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps.” (Proverbs 16:8) Planning is good but don’t ever hesitate to change your plans when God is leading even when things don’t make sense to you or make you feel uncomfortable. He is sovereign and he is in control no matter what we choose as we are living our lives to honor Him. BUT He can at any moment choose to totally interrupt you whenever He feels like it. You should welcome the interruptions.
His plan is far greater than our plans. We see a small part but He sees the whole picture. I’m letting Him write my story. After all, my story is only a subplot in the greatest story ever told. And He just so happens to be the Author.
Keep writing, God!
I give in!
