Goodbyes are the hardest. There's no way around it. The thing is that I never knew goodbyes wouldn't get any easier. The amount of goodbyes and I will miss you hugs are constant. On the race change is constant. Loving hard is constant. Getting hurt is constant.
Today I just said goodbye to Ubon. I said goodbye to the villages. I said goodbye to the school children. I said goodbye to my home and my family. Life in Ubon became my normal. We had our beds made, clothes in the drawers and toothbrushes in a mug. We had a set up and a schedule. Many days I forgot I was in a foreign country until I tried to say hi to someone and their response was always puzzlement.
I have a family in Ubon. Every morning I get up and say hello to baby girl Eve. Ping always gives me a tender tug on my arm. I walk outside and I'm greeted with "morning Jaslean, why you always tired" from Mac. Rachel always laughs at my morning- I just woke up face. I go to Ban Pla Duk and I'm bombarded with sly and curious eyes from NamPung. I'm greeted with a warm embrace from Fon. My ears are full of beautiful music from Art. My confusion is always responded to by a polite giggle from Kat. I go to wash my dishes and grandma tenderly cups my hands in hers and gives a sincere smile. I walk past a stumbling Jermi who gives me a 4 toothed grin. I hear sweet little foot steps running by, it's Isaiah.
As I lay in my top bunk on this overnight train to Bangkok, my scarf is still freshly damp from my tears saying goodbye. The thing is that I'm not only saying goodbye to Ubon. I'm not only saying goodbye to my family here. I'm not only saying goodbye to the lifestyle I have here. I'm also saying goodbye to my team. In this next season team change likelihood is high (but not guaranteed). So as I ride away from Ubon, I also ride away from Fierce Love. I ride away from Emily Becks constant dancing and the wisdom she givingly showers over me. I ride away from the contagious laugh of Har and her love for children. I ride away from the jujuing of Lyric and her amazing ability to defy language barriers. I ride away from Eli and her heart of service and grace. I ride away from Lauren and her desire to live, love, and feel life to the fullest. I ride away from Elizabeth and her gracious heart and love of depth.
I ride away with a heavy heart of goodbyes. The cool thing is that family is forever, and that's what Ubon has showed me.
Forever and always
Jaz
