“UUUUUPEY!”
We waited.
A small man makes his way to the door led by his gigantic, disarming grin. Raquel shares a few words with him, and all of a sudden we’re being ushered into his home. Inside we sit amongst four ornately carved wooden rocking chairs. Raquel introduces the stranger to us as Don Guillermo. I sit down on the floor, take in the scene, and he smiles. Something about his smile is familiar, but I cannot place it, so I close my eyes.
Flashback.
Familiar sweat rolls down my back as we enter a small home made of scavenged wood and rusted tin. In the middle of the room is a small body hunched over a radio and singing along to the station’s jingle. She suddenly becomes aware that she is not alone in the room and turns to face us. This fact alone causes her eyes to swell with tears and the joy on her face to void all the emotions of fear and discomfort I had prior to entering the room. She has been expecting us for some time.
I open my eyes and remember why Guillermo’s smile took me back to Thailand a year and a half ago the first time I met Yaay Noi- only on these two occasions had I witnessed deep despair and loneliness replaced by authentic joy, solely by someone’s presence. Don Guillermo’s smile became my reality check because I had learned this lesson before. Neither of them knew my story, my struggles, or my could-be destructive nature, but they welcomed the invitation of my presence all the same (and with joy). I can’t say that I always love first without knowledge of exactly what I am getting myself into.
“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God” Philippians 1:9
We all often pray for discernment or insight- to “see things like God sees them,” and I suppose that’s a natural stance to take in the age of information; however, even here we are missing a big piece of what should be our prayer- that God would teach us how to love like He does. That we would put an end to our tendency to scale or rationalize suffering, to collect all the “qualifying” details before offering a helping hand, and to take calculated risks when it comes to who we invest in.
All these thoughts being said, I was led to write this prayer:
God would you teach us the difference between seeking to “save” and seeking to serve. Would you teach us how to pray for this country and for this ministry. Would we be quick to usher people into your presence for true restoration instead of causing unhealthy dependencies. Would we not look at your people with eyes of judgement, but with eyes that seek the areas that you are already working in. Would we not impose on this environment areas that we want to grow in personally with you or specific ways we want to see you move, but give you the same space and freedom that you desire us to walk in ourselves. Would we approach this culture as students first because your people have much to teach us about being patient in prayer, how to walk in love and how to grow in discipline. Would you help us to be eager in entering into the suffering of others not for the sake of tourism, but with simply ears to hear. Teach us how to walk in humility, to count our blessings, and to steward our privilege. May we start asking for more love from your abundance instead of always seeking discernment for our own benefit. Amen.
What would it look like for us to consider tapping into the abundance of love God has for us as the source that we can distribute to others, especially since God’s love is a source that never runs dry?
