month 1 debrief has just ended. debrief is something the worldrace builds into our schedule as a time of rest and reflection. it is filled with time to be spent resting in the Lord’s presence, individually and as a squad. it’s a time meant to be focused on the Lord and everything He has taught us in the past month as well as get us rejuvenated and ready to take on our next 2 months in Cambodia.
debrief for our squad has taken place in Siem Reap at the worldrace Overflow Guesthouse. after our 5 days spent there, each team splits off and goes to their next ministry destination; Battambang, Kampot, Kampong Thom, or Siem Reap-where my team is staying.
so,
1) what was good about month 1 in Battambang, Cambodia?
- the Lord taught me SO much about my character. He so willingly surfaced many things of my spirit that were hinderances in my walk with Him. He showed to me how important the state of my heart & soul is. He spoke to me through still small voices, His living and active word, different forms of worship, and through the people around me. He answered my prayers. He showed me a glimpse of how much power and authority i have through Him. He brought so much encouragement and love and light to my life through the incredible squad He put me on. He redeemed the dark stigma i have casted over people my age. He allowed me to meet such sweet Cambodian souls in the people from the trauma hospital, the cafe, our hosts, and my girl, Chaddy Moon. (the amazing lady we got blessed to live with)
2) what was hard?
- the revealing the Lord did of the parts of my character that did not look like Heaven. releasing sin to the Lord was hard. acting like Christ when i’d get annoyed or frustrated was hard. seeing abused women was hard. not harvesting hate in my mind for the men who would buy girls for the night was hard. passing the numerous KTVs was hard. seeing the deep scars on kids backs from the harsh discipline they received from home was hard. the language barrier was hard. remembering and putting into action the way Jesus would treat/think toward these people was hard. feeling like i wasn’t making a difference was hard. being obedient despite my feelings was hard. Battambang was hard.
3) what did you learn about God?
- that He is good no matter what. no feeling or mood or emotion has dominion over Him. i learned that His heart breaks often because of us. that we so do not deserve His constant love.
- i learned that He wants to talk to me. i learned that my prayers aren’t in vain and they do not return void. i learned, through His proving, that He truly listens to me and that He cares what i have to say. i learned that He trusts me. i learned that His spirit is very much alive and very much available at all times.
- i learned that He does not need me, He’s just awesome enough to allow me to be His.
4) what is something that God spoke to you this past month?
- this past month, the Lord told me He wants to be more evident in my life. i tend to want to keep Him all to myself. i hoard God. i don’t like people to know what we’re going through, i like it to be a me and Him thing. i like being vulnerable with Him, not others.
-on the way to the trauma hospital every morning we had to cross the Battambang river. this “river” is very dirty and very stagnant but under the surface, holds a lot of life in it; it actually feeds much of Battambang. the Lord told me one morning that i am that river. He told me i’m living a stagnant life but there is a lot of life He’s placed in me that He would like to use to feed others. He told me to stop being like that river. to stop hoarding the life inside of me and let it pour out onto those around me. -this was in the first week of being in Battambang. so i said “okay, God. what do i do then.” and that’s when He began revealing all the things in my character and spirit that i was oblivious to; like fear of others opinions, impatience, frustration, unforgiveness, hurt i was holding onto, judgement i was holding toward others. etc. things i had held onto for so long that they didn’t seem like they were burdening my walk with Christ.
so by the grace of God and my desire to obey what He says, these next 2 months will be me trying to live out what God is telling me to do. making my “yes” a verb.
yeah
