coming into the worldrace i was pretty stripped of who i was. the year before, i had switched schools and lifestyle and community. i didn’t have any known friends for the entire year and was about 6 hours away from all my family. before this move, i was super extroverted, a huge people person, and then because of the move and not having anyone and refusing to make friends, i had convinced myself that i didn’t like people at all.
living this way for 11 months really just took me away from everything i had ever been and the uncomfortability resulted in me becoming much closer to the Lord.
the summer before the Race, at training camp, had marked one year of living in a different place, and so getting to training camp i had a lot of energy built up because of the fact that i’m so extroverted and had been living as if i was introverted. so training camp was the peak of an entire year of built up people-energy that just exploded on my squad and teammates for 10 straight days lol. & they still talk about how crazy i was for those 10 days.
so training camp just kind of started bringing me back to life. but it was different this time due to how much 1-on-1 time i had had with God for the past year. i was starting to find myself again. starting to realize that i really do love and enjoy people and me being so negative toward people was simply me believing a lie.
i think my “Race” has actually lasted a lot longer than these past 9 months. kansas city walked me through all the “abandonment” & ties i had to the world. it’s like i got a head start to the “Race.” the Lord started really changing my life in KC and then used the worldrace as my next stepping stone to becoming more intimate with Him. KC was getting through all the really hard things that racers walk through at the beginning of the race because it’s the first time many of us have ever been away from our families. so spending a year away from my family prior to going on the race just set me up so well.
the race changed my mindset toward so many things. the race didn’t actually, but my team did. my team changed my life.
out of the 47 people i’ve been on this adventure with, only 6 of them are my teammates. our team name is Grafted. we chose this name because we are like a grafted tree; a tree with many different roots growing up the same trunk. we are all nearly polar opposites of each other, but our focal point is the Lord.
not one of them are the type of person i would’ve hung out with before the race, and we all feel that way toward each other.
they changed my mindset toward their own individual people group.
gracie is very rooted and is very strong minded. she’s willing to change her mind and perspective on things but not just simply from someone’s words. the truth of things have to be proven to her. which is amazing. the Lord has saved the “people group” of strong willed, opinionated people through her for me by allowing me to see her heart and where she comes from when she speaks. that this group of people isn’t a people who only care about what they have to say and there’s no way their mind can be changed but that these people are rooted in who they are and what they believe because they’ve tasted and seen the truth.
elena has been used by the Lord to save the people group of a loving person. she is so incredibly gentle and patient with people. always making sure we were on the right track and had everything together. she was our glue and without her we fell apart. this “people group” is actually my sister. my whole life jessica had been taking care of me and making sure i’m together and doing what i’m supposed to be doing & i always took it for granted and would get frustrated with her trying to “mother” me but when she moved out, i realized how much she actually did for me and how much i actually relied on her. she just loved me and cared for me despite how bratty i was. elena was that for me all year, no matter how hard i made things for her she never once stopped loving me or being kind to me or caring for my well being, just like jessica.
kirsten saved the people group of timidity. i don’t mean timidity in a negative manner, just a person who is more reserved than others. this group is a people who have absolutely so much goodness and uniqueness to them but you don’t get to see that special side of them until you pursue them and get to know them and allow them to become comfortable with you. this “people group” is my cousins. logan and rylee are very laid back and “to themselves” until you give them space to be themselves and then boom they’re wild! and it’s beautiful and it really has revealed the preciousness of personality protection. it’s so rewarding to me when this “people group” becomes comfortable and opens up. i absolutely love people like kirsten and logan and rylee. they’re the best.
margee has been used by the Lord to save the people of sensitivity. not at all sensitivity in a negative manner though. i think sensitivity is beautiful and precious. words and situations just impact her in a way that they don’t to me. words don’t have much effect on me, on margee they do. because they don’t mean much to me, my tongue is sometimes out of control. & because of the fact that words do effect margee so much, i have to be on my guard and pay attention when i speak. she has grown my verbal awareness so much in a crazy way. and it was actually an answered prayer because i am always asking the Lord to help me control my tongue because every word said either brings life or death. i praise God for giving me margee as a teammate. we are very different people and the Lord has used us as growth points to each other since the very beginning of the race. she has definitely pushed me closer to the Lord. (:
kaelan has been used to save the people group of theater. haha. throughout highschool and growing up, the theater and band group was never really a positive group for me. i didn’t see a lot of goodness in many of them and thought pretty negatively toward them. but that’s because i never gave them a chance. kae is one of my absolute best friends and she is very much pro theater and band and because of her, i’ve become so interested in this “people group.” my cousins were also apart of this group and because i love them so much, i’ve always wanted to love the people they’re surrounded by but it’s hard when this person is so different from you and outside of your said “people group.” i’m so incredibly thankful for my cousins and for kae and how they continue to open my mind and eyes to their world and their people because they’re all so intricate and fun and just good company to be around.
amber has been used to save the people group of feelers and emotion. i had a negative view toward people who were “intact” with their feelings. i’ve never really felt comfortable expressing my feelings outwardly because i’ve always just been told to toughen up or get over it. or had been put down for getting my feelings hurt or being sensitive. amber feels confidently. she is very empathetic and unashamed to feel what she’s feeling and it inspires me to actually pay attention to what i’m feeling and why im feeling it. which then just pushes me closer to the Lord and allows me to be more relatable to the people around me.
and i can’t forget about luis, our leader. luis has been used to save the stigma of middle aged men for me. lol. i didn’t know how much hurt i had toward men; due to my dad and other men who have been in my life growing up. i didn’t realize how uncomfortable and out of place i felt with them. i’ve only ever been around a handful of Godly men in my life. in the beginning of the race there was just something in me that just didn’t want to let luis in. not because of anything about luis but simply because of the fact that i didn’t have a good view of grown men prior to the race. and not until nicaragua, month 6, did any of this start to become healed in me. luis has unknowingly stood in the place of healing toward men for me. and he’s done an amazing job. i have zero remorse toward men now and have walked through so much perspective healing toward them all thanks to the Lord using luis as His vessel for me.
i am so beyond blessed and grateful for how much change of view toward people the Lord has walked me through.
i LOVEEEE people and im grateful because now i know how to relate to 7 people groups that i didn’t know how to relate to before. thank You so much Lord for using my teammates as vessels and so much thanks to my teammates for simply being themselves.
