i am not attracted to the earth. places don’t draw me in. mountains don’t do it for me, beaches are whatever-i think they’re beautiful don’t get me wrong, but they just don’t capture me. i didnt miss oklahoma at all, i missed the people. leaving america, i didn’t miss america at all, i missed the people. i didnt like cambodia, i liked the people. i didnt like ethiopia, i liked (LOVED) the people. nicaragua was absolutely beautiful in so so SOO many ways but i guarantee i’ll forget what it looks like, but i won’t forget the people.
i think mountains are beautiful, yes, but the reason i think they’re so amazing is not because of the way they look but because of the mighty way they do what they were created to do: worship God. i think that’s i why i fall in love with people so easily, because of how they live their lives in worship to God. to stand under a mountain or under the stars or with another co-heir of Christ and praise God with His creation, as His creation. there isn’t anything much better than that.
training camp part 2 has just come to a close. the Lord really rocked some worlds in these 10 days. no way anyone came out of this week unchanged in some sort of way. i love training camp because of how authentically hungry the people are for the Lord. i loveeeee being around people who are about the Lord’s business. it’s just so special and filling.
i’ve been carrying some worry lately. the Lord knew that fact about me walking into this week. i was one of the “worlds” He rocked. the worship team sang a song that went like this:
day and night
night and day
the angels sing Your praise
they don’t worry
they just keep on singing
i couldn’t digest it.
i said, “Lord that doesn’t make sense to me. how do they not worry? do they feel worry and just press it down and ignore it to not let it effect them or what? i don’t understand that.”
& He said, “no jaynna that’s what you do.”
i said okay roast me then God. & He said “yeah but you know i’m serious.”
-“yeah i know. You’re right.” “so if You compare Your people to the angels and saints & im supposed to be like them, how in the heck do i get to the point they’re at? the point where i’m not worrying?”
& He said. “well jaynna, break down the song.“
hmm okay. “day & night, night & day”
-“stop, now what does that mean?”
“well day & night. night & day. that’s all the time. there’s no space of time in between day and night. that’s ALL the time”
-“& what do they do during that time?”
*i think i rolled my eyes right here*
“Lord. they sing Your praises.”
-“& what happens as a result of that?”
“well it says they -don’t worry- they just keep singing.”
but i still didn’t get it. HOW DO THEY NOT WORRY?? HOW DOES ANYTHING/ANYONE NOT EVER WORRY??
this is where He got me good. where He rocked my world.
-“jaynna. whose house are they in?”
“Yours Lord.”
“so then whose got them?”
“You do Lord.”
“so why would they worry?”
okay mic drop.
i was standing in a corner in the back of the room & i’m certain someone would have been very concerned if they saw the look on my face. i’ve never made that face before. and i audibly, quite loudly said,
“You. are. crazy.”
now, i say crazy all the time. i call people crazy all the time. i call myself crazy all the time.
i have NEVER in my life truly meant that word until that moment.
i couldn’t speak or move for about 7 minutes. i just stood there dumb/awestruck.
& worship ended & life went on & my physical body looked normal but my insides were shaking wildly. i’d never felt that feeling before. i can’t explain it. the Lord did something inside me right there. revelation to be exact.
& so i tried, and am still trying, to process everything He said and everything i felt. & what He’s revealed so far is that:
the angels literally don’t have time to worry. they are so consumed with worshipping their God, there’s no time for anything else. they are literally in the House of God. God has GOT them. they give absolutely everything in worship to the Lord. their obedience. their praise. their time. they are so filled up with God that there isn’t room for anything else.
huh!? wow i was really convicted and really blown away. He compares us to the angels. He says that’s how we’re supposed to live; in complete awe and worship to Him, where there are no negatives. because God is too good for that lousy stuff. that’s not what He wants to fill us up with- He only gives out goodness.
He says that WE, US; WE ARE IN THE HOUSE OF GOD. AT ALL TIMES. because of that thing He did a while ago- you know the one. where He descended from HEAVEN. (who does that??) and paid the price of life and death FOR THE PURPOSE OF ALLOWING US TO DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF GOD – ANNNYYYYYWHERE AT ALL TIMES. right here on this airplane. right there in your desk. right there at school. everywhere. we are never not in the House of God. oh but we sure act like we don’t have access. we sure act like we’re not in His House.
man i just sat back and said Good God Almighty i have got to get there. God You gotta get me to that place. i am not playing. how stupid of me to forfeit the House of God for the stupid stupid stupid pleasure of this world. i am so sorry.
but God doesn’t condemn. He doesn’t hand out shame. no no. that’s the stupid devil that does that. the one whose so lame that he’s literally under our feet. the one who can’t even do anything without us allowing him to do it. the one that prowls around LIKE a lion. LIKE. a lion. he’s a faker. an imposter. who’s the Lion?? God! that stupid devil is tryna pose as GOD. what an idiot.
i said, “ God we really got to get to that place. how are we gonna do it.”
and so that’s where i’m at currently: on my way to that place.
i love my Jesus.
sorry for halfway ranting. God just really rocked me up. all of training camp was like this. just one thing after another after another; He just kept wild’n out. it was amazing. He tied some wild things together that He’d been stewing up inside me and i’m so serious- i am not the same jaynna i was 14 days ago when this whole leading a team thing really started. just wow.
