when i pray, i often say “God, i give this up. please replace it with one of the fruits of Your spirit.”
patience is that current fruit in exchange of what i’m deciding to give to Him
since training camp, the Lord has been telling me to chill out
He’s been telling me to be still and trust His timing
to be patient and not get frustrated quickly
i’m not good at being chill. i am a spaz. i’m not the best at waiting on the Lord’s timing. i tend to get frustrated when people take too long to do things. people irk and annoy me quickly. so yeah, i’ve not really been wanting to partake in this part of growth that the Lord is so graciously trying to take me through, even though i asked Him to do so
the Lord and i’s lessons are very drastic sometimes. we tend to do things the hardest and most extreme way
like Him putting me on a team of 6 deep thinking, sensitive girls
i don’t carry those traits naturally. at all
i can’t remember the last time i diligently thought about what i’m doing. i just do things
& there is like one sensitive bone in my body and it’s used like once a year. so okay Lord
my team is a huge influence in making me patient. thanks Lord for putting me with them
i still wasn’t getting it though. i wasn’t grasping the concept/fruit that the Lord was trying to instill in me. He had to find a new way to teach me patience because i was being myself. aka not being receptive to the first way He was trying to grow me
he got my attention though that’s for sure
guess what He did
bro wrecked my bike
okay God did not wreck my bike but He definitely allowed me to wreck my bike
He had to get my attention because He knows how i am. He knows i’m a spaz and have the attention span of a gerbil and that just telling me to do something isn’t always the best way to get me to do it
so la la la
i was riding to ministry one morning on my bike, 007. (our bikes are numbered & i just so happened to get number 007. dope i know) & not to brag but my sister and i were the best bike riders in our neighborhood when we were growing up 😉 so i was riding down the street with no handle bars like i normally do. taking turns and swerving potholes. the usual. it’s whatever
this day, however, a pothole prevailed
the tiniest pothole in the entire world
my handlebars jabbed into my stomach, my leg jammed into the ground, & i soared off of 007
i was in front of everyone on my team except for our squad leader, luis. everyone behind me literally slammed on their brakes trying not to run me over. one girl’s back tire was all the way in the air because she had to brake so hard to not run over my face
i thought for sure my knee cap had popped straight out of my leg
none of this is even the bad part. the bad part is the fact that the previous night i let my squadmate, drew, shave a notch in my eyebrow & my other squadmate, victoria, give me cornrows
bro
i got sideswiped by a pothole looking like a wannabe slim shady
i looked like a straight up fool
& now my knee is the size of a softball
i can just imagine God laughing so hard. i wish i could’ve experienced it from His perspective
i cried/laughed for 2 whole hours at hospital ministry after the tragically embarrassing happening. cried because wrecking your bike makes you miss your mom and laughed because i couldn’t stop imagining if my sisters had been there and how much they would’ve roasted me for wrecking a bike and then crying again because i miss them making fun of me
bike wrecks make you vulnerable
okay so i’m sharing this story because it’s the drastic way that God deemed necessary to get me to follow through on my part of the bargain (sacrifice for one of His fruits)
it’s funny how much the Lord knows how to get your attention
i was in my own element and not in God’s which is not a good place to be
i physically cannot ride or walk fast now
i now have to pay attention to the way i walk and the way i ride my bike and the way i sit down and stand up or else i get wincing pains in my knee & that just happens to be the way the Lord had to get my attention in this lesson of life. only happens to be this way though because i didn’t listen to Him the first time He tried to fix me
why i have to do everything the hard way? idk but here we are
i can’t do anything but be thankful though because since 007 and i’s accident, my patience has grown tremendously. i’ve gotten to see the other side of the picture: my team has to wait and be patient with me now & i get to see how they feel. and that speaks wonders
just as the pothole prevailed in my life, the Lord did also. He has His way whether it’s easy flowing for us or not
He’s funny
i am so thankful He is the one in control. i’m so thankful He put me on the team He did. i’m so thankful He wrecked my bike. i’m so thankful He cares enough about me to change these little detailed, intricate things of my spirit. i’m so thankful He shows me patience and is chill with me and doesn’t get frustrated easily. i’m so thankful He knows how to get to me
i’m so thankful that He carries out the things He is trying to get me to carry out; His fruits
so moral of the story, don’t avoid what God is trying to teach you or He may show you what’s up by wrecking your bike with cornrows in your head =)
