Where I am?
What is the place?
I’m looking around, but can’t figure out where I am at. Its dark, cold, and noisy. But in the distance, I can faintly see a glow. Well, instead of sitting in this dark place might as well travel to the glow. Maybe I’m just sleeping and need to wake up. “Pinch me,” I must be dreaming. That didn’t work, I felt that pinch. This must be real. Time to deal with it. As I am walking through, obstacles are popping up around me. I thought this was going to be an easy walk to the glow. But I forgot to think about 1) its dark in here, and 2) my past. I make it to the first stronghold. It has this tight grip around my heart like a boa constrictor. It’s time to breathe. If you have read the “Freedom” blog, it has been released. One down, who knows how many more are left to deal with.
Alright God, what’s next?
Guess we will find out as we keep running towards the glow that’s afar. I won’t go into specifics because I don’t know them myself. As I continue moving towards the glow, I start to realize that it’s getting warmer. I still can’t figure out where I’m at but I have a feeling its somewhere where I never expected to be. Whatever this place is seems to be having some sort of life coming to it. There are different people, people from past, present, and future, different locations. It’s like a city in here. Most of you know that I am not a big fan of the city life. What’s the purpose behind this God? “I’ll tell you this, I’m showing you all these things because I want you to see things that I have in store for you. But here’s the deal, I want you to forget it. Surrender it. Right now, I want you to focus on me and who you are going to be when I get done with you. Not what you want your future to look like.” Well… okay, that sounds terrifying! Easier said than done.
‘Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.’ Romans 7:24-25
As many of us know, it is a constant battle to live in the Word of God. We have to deal with others constantly persecuting us, even in ways we don’t think we are being persecuted. I know for myself, I have been in the fear of man when it comes to sharing my whole heart. One of these days, the full thing will come out. God doesn’t tell us to fear man but fear Him. Once I start to figure out the ‘flesh’ that is surrounding my heart, then I’ll be fully alive in Christ.
I have been a dead man walking for years. I thought that because it’s MY life I can do what I feel is best for me. What is it like to give up your whole life and be a man that is ALIVE? When you start opening up your heart and dissecting it, you begin to realize that there is more to you than you realize. Most of my life I have focused on worst case scenarios in certain areas of my life because of things I’ve gone through in the past. Never really actually taking the time to properly deal with them. Being here with people close to my age and having gone through similar experiences have helped out. This team of mine are very helpful and encouraging. They want to see the breakthrough in me. Little by little I am becoming fully alive in Christ. Realizing what I have to offer because of what Christ gave me is a work in progress.
