October 25-27, 2014
[end of] Month 2: Nicaragua
Dear month 11 self,
The World Race is over, the rest of life is ahead. What did I learn (or hope I’ve learned)?
- to love well, even when I don’t get to handpick my friends
- to follow well, even when it means speaking up and challenging how things are done
- to be vulnerable, even when it’s the last thing I want or think I need
- to drop my defenses: to let the real me come out
- to be less obsessed with being perfect than being real and honest
- to learn to have meaningful conversations with people with whom it doesn’t happen naturally
- to realize I need peer relationships with mutual exchange (not mentor/mentee or advisor/advisee, etc.)
- to live in the confidence of who I am—passionate, vivacious, truthful, wise, insightful, caring
- to let people in; to be known
- to live free from fear, resentment
- to walk in freedom
- to live extravagantly—without boundaries—the life I was created for
- to dream endlessly, yet be lost in each moment
- to speak truth without fear or shame
- to love well, and learn to receive love well
- to be okay with being a kid sometimes, or being a mom 😛
- to let loose and live!
- to allow leaks and holes in my dam of self-protection; to let the real me break out
- to let God’s truth trump my perceptions or others’ opinions of myself
- to live boldly, courageously, without regret or hesitation
- to jump in with both feet at every opportunity
- to live on the edge; to venture beyond my known world whenever possible
- to see others with God’s eyes/heart
- to partner with Him in what He’s doing in the world (and my local community)
What do I want going forward?
- to be part of an intimate peer group (where we not only talk abstract theology, but also relate very personally, with mutual exchange)
- to live in an actual community (providing housing for [international] college students?)
- to be very intentional in my local area (creating “missional trails” by frequenting certain community meeting places regularly
- to only work part-time
- to become invested in a local church and small group
- to be a student of the word and the Christian “greats”
- to read much
- to create a peaceful space in/at my home where God is encountered regularly
- to learn to listen well to God in normal, everyday life; to be led by Him in word, thought, attitude, and action
- to maintain “empty space” in my life and schedule for God—to just rest, listen, be
- to learn to influence and effect change outside my home, too
- to value my voice, insight, and perspective, and fearlessly (but tactfully, of course) share that with others
- to be prayerful in life; to realize more and more what that constant conversation/dance looks like in everyday life
- to live in the supernatural: power, grace, love, joy, peace, beauty—breathing life, love, and empowerment into those around me
- to learn what it means to be me, empowered and filled and led by the Spirit of God
God help me in this quest!
-sara
