A white American, at least upper fifties, maybe low sixties, sits across from a Thai girl, maybe upper twenties….maybe. They’re a few tables away so I can’t make out what the man is saying. She sits with a meal. He sits across with her, not eating, but asking her for the receipt, so clearly he bought it. He says some things, then makes a gesture with his hand to his ear like a phone, and asks, “you’ll call me?”, after she nods, he smiles, gets up, and walks away. I pity this man, he’s empty, he’s lonely, he’s walking in darkness, and may or may not realize it. He must have been hurt in the past, he must have experienced heartache….maybe he’s never felt love from a woman, so has come to southeast Asia to try to find it. I pity him, I think this man is broken….until i see the flourescent light reflect off the silver wedding band on his finger….this man isn’t broken….he’s shattered.
Later that night, at a bar downtown I met a guy named Grant. We played pool, and started up a conversation. After the initial telling me how bad America sucked for various reasons, we had this dialogue:
Grant: well my wife is Thai and….
Me: sorry, did you say your wife was Thai?
Grant: yeah
Me: where is she at right now?
Grant: she’s back at the hotel
Me(look of confusion)
Grant(sheepish grin): she’s very understanding….you know come out have a few drinks, have a good time…..as long as i come home at night, she’s ok….
So yeah, i know….i’m a naive 27 year old…i’ve been in one “serious” relationship, and that ended about six years ago….and the older i get i realize it wasn’t so much serious but silly. But how as men do we get to this place? What happens, to make us think, that we will find joy in an isolated encounter with a stranger, when we can’t find it in the woman who devoted herself to us on the altar. How can we betray that. I know lust is a struggle for men, and i’m not saying it always completely goes away after marriage. And I know sin is sin, and if you look at a woman lustfully you’ve alredy committed adultery. But still, how can we take it this far?
It makes me angry when i see john’s disrespecting women in the bars. It makes me furious when i see married men disrespecting women in the bars and the woman they devoted themselves to. Like I said….i’m a naive single 27 year old, but i can’t comprehend how you can touch a woman….touch a girl, with the same hand that’s holding the symbol of your commitment to your wife. I think about the heartache that would cause my future wife, and it breaks my heart to know, those are the emotions that these women feel, and should feel when this happens.
Alright, so i feel like this was kind of a blog/soapbox, for that I apologize….my bad. Pray that we continue to have pity for the john’s because of their brokenness, but pray that we still pity the husbands, for they’re broken as well….and in some ways far more. But also pray for Grant, and the other men, who are trying to fill a void in their life that in the end will leave them more empty than they already are. That they would realize true love isn’t found in a night with a girl thirty years younger than them. Pray that they would be filled, with the love of and for their wives, but more so they would be filled with the Love and Hope of Christ….and they would be satisfied.
